I was doing some thinking today about Friendship and what all it means and implies, it’s obligations and so on. The most important thing to remember is… Always appreciate the friends that you have. A fight may come and go very easily, but a friendship could last forever. For every second spent in anger, a minute of happiness is wasted. Most people walk in and out of your life. But only true friends leave footprints in your heart.
When we look back on our younger years, we will remember the people who went to school with us, the people who made us laugh, the people who hung out with us when nobody else would, and the people who made our lives much better simply by being a part of it. Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget. The language of friendship is not in words but in their meanings.
True real friendships are hard to come by. That is why you need to know the meanings and signs of a true real friendship. It is extremely important to know your true real friends. As you read on below, try and picture your ‘true real friends’ and try and decide whether are they as true and as real as you think they are.
Everyone has friends and need friends. People that we interact with everyday in school, at work, in the same apartment, in the metro,at the gym, the list goes on. But I always believe in quality, not quantity. I would rather have a few true friends than a hundred of regular friends (like on Facebook). Everyone is different and have different perspectives on true friendships but there are some fundamentals for a true friendship that you can’t overlook.
Firstly, this person or true friend needs to give you a huge sense of trust. You need to see this person and believe, “I trust them and want to share everything with this person.” Can you trust them with your secrets? Trust them with your girlfriend or boyfriend? Trust them with your problems or embarrassing moments? These are all things to take note of. It is not easy to feel this way about someone but I have found such friends, and I believe that it is possible for you to find a true friend you can call your own.
Secondly, imagine it is 3 AM in the morning. You met with something unfortunate, let’s say your car broke down. You think of all the ‘friends’ that you have and you slowly make a note of who will actually help you. Finally you settled on someone who might help and called him or her. What would his or her response be? Irritation? Frustration? Or someone who will sacrifice their sleep to get out of bed to either pick you up or assist you by giving you a list of numbers which you can get for help. Let’s say it’s something serious. You really really need someone to talk to in the middle of the night, you’re so desperate you need someone to talk to. Will your ‘friend’ be that someone? A true friend would, no matter how tired they are.
Another sign would be that you will never get tired of a true friend’s company. And vice versa. You all can remain silent and will not feel awkward about it. It sounds very much like a fairy tale but it is true. They will never ever judge you as well. No matter what you did, that person would be there beside you, and correct you if you are really in the wrong, but he or she will never judge you and gossip about you behind your back. A true friend loves without condition and will not expect anything in return.
Of course this gets a little complicated with the opposite sex. It is a fact that when a male and a female gets closer, one of them is bound to start wondering if things can be developed further. The trouble comes in when only one of them is feeling this way. For example, the other party might start expecting to be loved back or might expect you to feel the same way about them. Attraction is tricky business. Therefore, this is one thing that one must be aware of, so that you will know how to handle it when it comes.
True real friends double your happiness and half your burdens. Basically how you would like a true real friend to be, you should be like this to your true friends. Trust, forgiveness,bonding and accountability are some ingredients of a true friend. True friendships are hard to come by. And what’s more, life is short. So treasure these friends if you have already have them. If you don’t continue to search, because once you have them, life becomes so much easier to live, no matter what happens. I have been through pretty rough patches and I dare say, without my friends I would not have made it.
Friendships need lots of energy and patience to maintain them. Not to mention time too. When your friend needs you, sometimes when things are not going too well on your side, it is often so easy to turn a deaf ear to their pleas. It is especially during these times, that you must find the strength in you to help your friend. And it is during these times that your friendship will be forged and made stronger.
And you must always be happy for their successes, even when things are not going too well on your side. It might be hard to do for some people but it is something that you need to learn. Think about all the sacrifices your friend has made for you and all the times when he or she was happy for you despite his or her own troubles.
Think about all the happy times you all enjoyed and the sad, rough times you all went through together. That should give you sufficient patience to actually be a true friend for them. Remember, true friends are the next best thing to family. They will always be your pillar of support no matter what. Always.
Here I would like to narrate a short story regarding the need of friendship and true friends..
My mother used to ask me what is the most important part of the body. Through the years I would take a guess at what I thought was the correct answer. When I was younger, I thought sound was very important to us as humans, so I said, “My ears, Mommy.”
She said, “No. Many people are deaf. But you keep thinking about it and I will ask you again soon.”
Several years passed before she asked me again. Since making my first attempt, I had contemplated the correct answer. So this time I told her, “Mommy, sight is very important to everybody, so it must be our eyes.”
She looked at me and told me, “You are learning fast, but the answer is not correct because there are many people who are blind.”
Stumped again, I continued my quest for knowledge and over the years, Mother asked me a couple more times and always her answer was, “No. But you are getting smarter every year, my child.”
Then last year, my Grandpa died. Everybody was hurt. Everybody was crying. Even my father cried. I remember that especially because it was only the second time I saw him cry. My Mom looked at me when it was our turn to say our final goodbye to Grandpa. She asked me, “Do you know the most important body part yet, my dear?”
I was shocked when she asked me this now. I always thought this was a game between her and me. She saw the confusion on my face and told me, “This question is very important. It shows that you have really lived in our life. For every body part you gave me in the past, I have told you were wrong and I have given you an example why. But today is the day you need to learn this important lesson.”
She looked down at me as only a mother can. I saw her eyes well up with tears. She said, “My dear, the most important body part is your shoulder.”
I asked, “Is it because it holds up my head?”
She replied, “No, it is because it can hold the head of a friend or a loved one when they cry. Everybody needs a shoulder to cry on sometime in life, my dear. I only hope that you have enough love and friends that you will always have a shoulder to cry on when you need it.”
That is the wonderful thing about friendship-you always feel loved and cared about. Friendship is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations.
The most beautiful discovery friends can make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.
Prof.Bhushan Manchanda,MCMI – About the Author:
MA (English),PGDMM,MBA (Faculty of Management Studies,University of Delhi,India), Management Education,Training & Soft Skills Consultant. Over 35 years Industry,Education and Training experience.
Associate Professor and Head,Department of Management Studies, Jagannath International Management School(affiliated to GGS Indraprastha University,New Delhi,India)
Have you ever noticed after being around someone that you feel totally emotionally and physically drained? Have you ever wondered what in the world happened? The answer is you were with a Spiritual Vampire.
A Spiritual Vampire is not like vampires in stories and movies that drain your blood; they drain your energy. These attacks are very real and happen on a daily basis. Most of us go through life not realizing that we are being drained of our spiritual and physical energy.
Spiritual vampirism is real and flourishing more than ever in today’s world. I use the term spiritual vampire because they are tapping into your spirit. Because they are consumers of energy rather than blood, their own inadequate energy causes them to tap into an unsuspecting person (host) energy system. The spiritual vampire feels a rush and exhilaration after tapping into the energy source whereas the victim feels mentally depleted and even physically drained. Constant attack can cause the energy system to break down and even cause physical illness.
Read more >>> Spiritual Vampires
I find this a very important topic to have a lot more discussion about. Although we all are raised, and hear all around us, that it is wrong for men to hit and that is abusive, the topic of emotional/verbal/psychological abuse seems to be often over looked. The damage done emotionally can last even longer than physical abuse, maybe even a life time.
We always wonder why a woman would tolerate a physically abusive man. It seems crazy to us…someone hits you – you leave – pretty simple. What people commonly don’t know is that physical abusers start as emotional abusers. By the time a man becomes physically abusive, he’s torn the woman down emotionally so bad or for so long, she’s not sure which way is up. I know most women think they can spot this guy without any more information and this goes into the “it would never happen to me” category. All I can tell you is I have an engineering degree, held good jobs, always had healthy self esteem, know better than to let a man treat me bad, and I still woke up one day to find myself in an abusive situation.
Emotional abuse can be much more complex and devious than just tearing you down, telling you that you aren’t attractive, stupid, etc. I’d like to share a short story with you to better explain how the manipulative emotional abuser works his ways.
My boyfriend at the time and I planned a long weekend vacation. I was really excited about going on vacation with just him and myself. The day we were set to leave I was sitting in my boyfriend’s house, with his roommate, waiting on him to get home so his roommate could drive us to the airport. I noticed his roommate had his bags packed and asked where he was going for the weekend. He looked at me like I had two heads and said, “I’m going with you guys.” I was shocked, hurt, and mad my boyfriend hadn’t talked to me about his roommate coming with us. I wouldn’t have bought plane tickets if I had known it was a “group” trip. When my boyfriend got home I pulled him off to the side and calmly asked him why he hadn’t discussed it with me. He told me “We discussed it last Wednesday. Don’t you remember? You were sitting right there, he was sitting here, and I was sitting over there and we all agreed.” I was really upset because I still didn’t like the situation and was no longer excited about the trip, but what was wrong with me that I couldn’t remember the conversation? It must have been my bad memory that my ex sometimes picked on me about. No matter how upset or hurt I was, I only had myself to blame. I must have agreed and not remembered.
It wasn’t even until I left him that I realized that conversation with all three of us never happened and he was just messing with my mind. It was always like that. “I already gave you directions, don’t you remember?” “We already talked about this, don’t you remember?” “I told you to bring xyz!” I felt dumber and dumber and dumber in that relationship. I thought I had a horrible memory, and sometimes I can be a little forgetful so I bought right into it. He made me dependent because I surely couldn’t depend on myself with how absent minded I had become! The entire time I was with him I never questioned it. He always put so many details around the lie it never occurred to me that I couldn’t trust the words of someone telling me that they loved me. I couldn’t imagine lying like that and thought abuse was easier to spot, like just telling someone “you are an idiot”, instead of slowly convincing them that they were stupid in such a manipulative way.
Your biggest defense against manipulative people and emotional abusers is to trust yourself no matter what the situation. Had I trusted myself and trusted the facts in my head, rather than what he was telling me was fact, we would have dated around three months instead of ending up married. Had I been educated on how emotional abuse really works, I never would have ended up in that scary situation.
The list below is signs that you may be in an abusive relationship. It’s a good list to keep in the back of your head for friends, family, or children too so you can quickly recognize red flags. This list has been taken from www.drirene.com: If you answer “yes” to more than a few, you may want to take a closer look.
Does your partner:
ignore your feelings?
ridicule or insult you then tell you its a joke, or that you have no sense of humor?
ridicule your beliefs, religion, race, heritage or class?
withhold approval, appreciation or affection?
give you the silent treatment?
walk away without answering you?
criticize you, call you names, yell at you?
humiliate you privately or in public?
roll his or her eyes when you talk?
give you a hard time about socializing with your friends or family?
make you socialize (and keep up appearances) even when you don’t feel well?
seem to make sure that what you really want is exactly what you won’t get?
tell you you are too sensitive?
hurt you especially when you are down?
seem energized by fighting, while fighting exhausts you?
have unpredictable mood swings, alternating from good to bad for no apparent reason?
present a wonderful face to the world and is well liked by outsiders?
“twist” your words, somehow turning what you said against you?
try to control decisions, money, even the way you style your hair or wear your clothes?
complain about how badly you treat him or her?
threaten to leave, or threaten to throw you out?
say things that make you feel good, but do things that make you feel bad?
ever left you stranded?
ever threaten to hurt you or your family?
ever hit or pushed you, even “accidentally”?
seem to stir up trouble just when you seem to be getting closer to each other?
abuse something you love: a pet, a child, an object?
compliment you enough to keep you happy, yet criticize you enough to keep you insecure?
promise to never do something hurtful again?
harass you about imagined affairs?
manipulate you with lies and contradictions?
destroy furniture, punch holes in walls, break appliances?
drive like a road-rage junkie?
act immature and selfish, yet accuse you of those behaviors?
question your every move and motive, somehow questioning your competence?
interrupt you; hear but not really listen?
make you feel like you can’t win? damned if you do, damned if you don’t?
use drugs and/or alcohol involved? are things worse then?
incite you to rage, which is “proof” that you are to blame?
try to convince you he or she is “right,” while you are “wrong?”
frequently say things that are later denied or accuse you of misunderstanding?
treat you like a sex object, or as though sex should be provided on demand regardless of how you feel?
Your situation is critical if the following applies to you:
You find yourself walking on eggshells, careful of when and how to say something.
You long for that softer, more vulnerable part of your partner to emerge.
You find yourself making excuses for your partner’s behavior?
You feel emotionally unsafe.
You feel its somehow not OK to talk with others about your relationship.
You hope things will change…especially through your love and understanding.
You find yourself doubting your memory or sense of reality.
You doubt your own judgment.
You doubt your abilities.
You feel vulnerable and insecure.
You are becoming increasingly depressed.
You feel increasingly trapped and powerless.
You have been or are afraid of your partner.
Your partner has physically hurt you, even once.
Another great resource is the bookThe Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond by Patricia Evans. It is often quoted as the top book on emotional abuse and may be helpful for you or someone you know needing to educate his or herself on emotional abuse.
Remember that abusers are often well liked, intelligent, well respected people and only mistreating their partners while alone. If you have someone in your life, who is in a relationship, and seems to be cutting off contact with you and other friends, have a heart to heart if you are close enough. I know I may not have listened right away, but if I had people I loved telling me “It’s not okay, ever, that he did this or that.” or “You deserve a man that acts like this or does that.” or even just shown me that list, I might have woken up sooner rather than later.
Never forget that your life is your choice. Only you get to decide what you will and will not tolerate. Click here to purchase Hear my Heels bracelets to remember to keep going towards the life you deserve. Please forward this information to all the women you care about.
20% of profits will go to domestic abuse charities.
Molly Pennington – About the Author:
Hear my Heels ~ The sound of you walking away, smiling, towards something better.I am the owner of Hear my Heels. Hear my Heels creates products for anyone who has found or looking to find the strength to go after everything they deserve in life. We donate 20% of our profits to domestic abuse charities. No man, woman, or child deserves to suffer at the hands of an abuser and it is our mission to remind everyone of their value, strength, and self worth.
- Mental Abuse Information (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
- How To Recognize When You’re Emotionally Abusing Yourself (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
Change Your Mind Change Your Life
The Life you truly want is the life that CAN BE YOURS
The saddest two words in the entire English language are “If only…” Don’t focus on what was or that which could have been. Look forward, progress and move towards that which you truly desire. With all your heart and soul.
Elephants and Fleas
Jim Donovan in his book This is Your Life Not a Dress Rehearsal tells the story of why elephants don’t run. Seeing adult elephants tethered by a slim rope, he asked the trainer why the great animals don’t break free to which the trainer replied to the effect that as young animals they are tethered by the same rope and grow up believing that they are held and cannot escape.
In a similar vein there is a famous story told by Zig Ziglar in his book, “See You at The Top.” You can place some fleas in a jar with a lid on it. The fleas will of course begin to jump, repeatedly hitting the lid in their attempt to escape.
After about 20 minutes, the fleas begin to learn that they cannot escape and stop jumping as high as they did to begin with, to avoid smacking their head on the lid.
Once they become accustomed to the fact that they cannot escape, you can remove the lid and the fleas will continue to jump at the same height, never escaping the jar. Since the fleas BELIEVE they cannot escape the confines of the jar, they stop trying. Because of their experience with smacking their heads repeatedly, every time they tried to escape, they never even bother looking up to see that the lid is no longer there.
These two anecdotes illustrate well how, like elephants and fleas, we are easily trained into believing how little we can achieve. Like elephants many of us cling to beliefs that we too are unable to achieve what we truly want simply because either we never tried or maybe we tried and failed once. These incorrect self-limiting beliefs are what hold us back.It is a self-limiting belief and self belief is the key that both locks us into self-limitations and yet is the same key that can open the door to new horizons, new ways of thinking and greater self-achievement.
For example, for many years I had the self-belief that I had a talent for writing and yet I had no confidence in that belief and it was this that held me back. Like the fleas in a jar I limited myself, although I never even tried to jump high enough to bang my head on the lid. Nevertheless, I imagined there was a ceiling just above me that I never aspired to exceeding because I believed I never could. Self-belief is both what holds us back and exactly that which can free us from our own self-limiting thoughts.
The situation is not hopeless. We can change. We can change our beliefs. We can let go of those beliefs that hold us back and replace them with new, more confident and more realistic belief and confidence in our abilities and talents. We can change the way we think, in time and with a little effort.
’Let go of the past and go for the future. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you imagined.’ Henry David Thoreau
Today is the first day of a new YOU and achieving the happiness of life you so richly deserve. On my blog is a free plan with links to a free support forum that will help you Change Your Mind and Change Your Life in 30 days. Check it out.
Wytchewoode – About the Author:
The author of this article is Steve W. founder of Changing Minds Changing Lives, a not-for-profit enterprise that aims to enable individuals to create richer lives through valuable and permanent personal development.
Just look at the tragedies that are happening Japans Earthquake being one of them.
Mother Nature, Mother Earth . . . terms we use so frequently, but do we fully understand and embrace the meaning behind these words . .
Earth is a very important part of our lives. Most of us wouldn’t think of polluting our bodies would we?, yet we are polluting our planet by misuse and overuse of our natural resources. As responsible individuals we should at least do what we can to help reduce, reuse, and recycle what we can as a first step.
We are not completely to blame; we inherited a polluted Earth, but we can do something to ensure that our children can grow up in a cleaner, safer planet than ourselves. Don’t ever let someone get away with saying “what can I do, I am only one person”. Each and every person can do a lot, and you can influence others to do something as well.
I want to try something new there are thousands of people that visit this site but yet very rarely leave a comment which is a shame as the more comments and views put forwards the more inspiring or interesting it can get.
Instead of me putting a row of tips on what we can do to help make mother earth a better and safer planet…. Iwant to ask “you the viewers” to leave a tip of your own in the comment box about what we could do to help our planet so other viewers can also read and be inspired… it would be bitterly disappointing to see no comments at all. So anyone that does leave a posting wow for caring about our planet and wow for taking part.
Positivity is free here for the taking, inspiration awaits only to be recognized and confidence is always encouraged, You are safe to like or comment anything on these page’s without the worry of getting judged that’s why this blog was created only for people who are inspired to do better and move forwards through life and help others I look forward to hearing from you with thanks.
Written by Joanne for Mediums World
Copyright © 2010,2015 Joanne Wellington All Rights Reserved.
- We Are Guests Here (gingerssnap.wordpress.com)
- Mother Nature vs. Winter Bounty: Once again, the greenhouse prevails (winterbounty.wordpress.com)
- In awed of Mother Nature (startstomething.wordpress.com)
- Daily OM – Children Of Mother Nature (witchesofthecraft.wordpress.com)
- Article: What is Going On Earth? (Carolyn Myss) (danjenn.wordpress.com)
- Beyond the Disaster (yipwengseng.wordpress.com)