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Being Realistic is awesome’ I found a pot of gold.

she♥~”If you have someone who understands you, who is patient with you, who loves you genuinely, who cares about you, who respects you, who is proud of you, who doesn’t take a day without calling or texting you, who never fails to fix time for you, who fears to lose you. Please love that person. Don’t take his or her care & love for granted because such people are very rare to find these days. Don’t let such a person slip out of your hands over minor disagreements. If you are the one in wrong admit and ask for FORGIVENESS. Handle that person with delicacy. Be there for him or her. Do whatever it takes for both of you to last forever. Be open to that person. Don’t be so nagging to such a person. Be trustworthy, faithful and appreciative.~ ♥

~J W~

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Relationship Reality Check

Every now and then your primary relationship (wi…th your spouse, partner, lover) needs a reality check to make sure you are both on the same page and in touch with each others relationship

I’ve been reading many articles lately about men and women whose spouses/partners have left them unexpectedly leaving them both surprised and devastated.

Most of them had no inkling that the relationship was anything but good. They saw no signs of trouble, unusual behavior, or what was to come crashing down on them.

How does this happen?

Unfortunately it does happen, and it happens to couples that allow themselves to fall into an unconscious routine.

They begin to take each other for granted, lose connection with each other’s thoughts and feelings and generally forget to do the small, considerate things they used to do in the past. It happens more often than anyone would care to admit.

Before the situation deteriorates to the point of no return, there are some things you can do to make sure you and your partner are in sync and working together.

Tips For Maintaining A Good Relationship: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

1- Respect each other. Try to understand each other’s feelings and points of view. Don’t try to change one another now that you’re in the relationships. You were initially attracted to each other for a reason. Remember what it was and continue to appreciate it.

2- Communicate. Never underestimate the importance of good communication. If something is going on inside of you, share it. Don’t keep your feelings, good or bad, to yourself. If you have a problem let your partner in on it. Work on a solution together. It will create intimacy and bring you closer together. When something good happens to you at work or you’ve achieved a goal, share that as well. All sharing and exchanging of information brings people closer to each other. Practice communicating with each other.

3- Do the little things. Be considerate and thoughtful. If you’re getting yourself a coffee, apple or snack from the kitchen ask your partner if he/she wants one too. When your spouse is tired and sore give him/her a back rub or massage. Be aware of each others needs.

4-  Don’t get caught up in the rat race. People get too wrapped up in getting ahead and the mechanics of everyday living. They rush around doing, getting, and not taking time to live in the moment. By not paying attention to each other you can become disconnected with yourself and your partner.

5-  Maintain a Sense of Humor. Laugh together. Don’t take things too seriously. Barring a tragedy, nothing is so serious that you can’t step back and look at the humorous side. Laughter is contagious and creates intimacy.

6-  Take care of and respect yourself. As mentioned in Love Yourself in order function fully, strive for balance. If you don’t take care of yourself, everything around you will fall apart including your relationship.

7-  Have a Life. Everyone needs a life of his/her own. If you don’t have one, you not only tend to invade someone else’s space, you probably become too dependent and therefore less interesting. One of the most important things you can bring to a relationship is your unique set of qualities and a different perspective. Contrary to what you may think, maintaining your individuality and having a life of your own strengthens a relationship and keeps it fresh and interesting.

So before things start sliding or become stagnant in your relationship, start developing some good maintenance habits. Communicate, laugh, be independent, take care of yourself and your relationship will not only survive, it will flourish.

Why Real Love Requires Self Love

DR. LISA LOVE REFLECTIONS self love

As a counselor I have often told people that they need to learn to love themselves. Yet, while saying this to others, I have at times taken pause to reflect and ask myself, “What does that really mean? How do we know the difference between a self-love and a selfish love? And, what can we do practically to love ourselves in the right way?” Perhaps the quote above holds a clue, because I believe true self love fills us with enough joy, peace, and love that our desire to be loving human beings grows. Because of this we want to express more empathy, compassion, and understanding towards others.Why Real Love Requires Self Love.

Read more>> Why Real Love Requires Sel Love

A Creed to Live By

i-believe-palmDon’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others, It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important… Only you know what is best for you

Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart… Cling to that as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.

Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or the future… By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

Don’t give up when you still have something to give…. Nothing is really over … until the moment you stop trying.

Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect……. It is the fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Don’t be afraid to encounter risks….. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give love.

The fastest way to lose love is to hold on too tightly…. And the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don’t dismiss your Dreams….. To be without dreams is to be without hope….. To be without hope is to be without purpose.

Don’t run through life so fast that you forget where you’ve been…. But also know where you’re going.

Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored every step of the way.

♥ racquel ♥

To get what you want, give people what they want!

Many people upon learning the law of attraction, get excited and start putting additional effort in giving to others, in the hope that in giving to others, they will get back what they want from them. Some of these people get disappointed that in spite of giving their 100%…, they are not getting from the universe what they want, and wonder why. Some quickly jump into the conclusion that law of attraction does not work. The fact is that spiritual laws always work, however it is important that knowledge is applied correctly. Knowledge put to action in the wrong way, or in the wrong context does not work.

In order to get what we want from others, it is important that we give others what they want, not what we think they need, and not what we want to give. A farmer owns a dog and a cow. If he feeds grass to the dog and dog-food to the cow, both animals will be unhappy and hungry, despite the effort put forth by the farmer.  Although this may sound funny, simple, and obvious, this is exactly what we tend to do, as in various complex situations, we may not really know what they other person wants, and thus make wrong assumptions about it and put forth unwanted effort in the wrong place.

Practical examples of not giving people what they want:

Example 1)
There are two sets of emotional needs in romantic relationships:
Set 1:
Caring, Understanding, Respect, Devotion, Validation and Reassurance.

Set 2:
Trust, Acceptance, Appreciation, Admiration, Approval and Encouragement.

All of the above emotional needs are forms of love. Yet, just calling all of them love is oversimplification of our emotional needs. Although every one has the need for all these forms of love, research has shown that most women primarily need to receive the kinds of love listed under “Set 1” from their partners, before they can appreciate the kind of love under “Set 2”. In contrast to that, most men primarily need to receive the love under “Set 2” before they can appreciate the kind of love listed under “Set 1”. Unknowingly however, both men and women tend to give to their partners what they would personally need, instead of giving what their partners need. This is why many people think they are giving a lot to the relationship. Yet, both partners remain unfulfilled, as they are not giving what their partners want.

Example 2)
Say you are an employer and want to hire the brightest candidate for the job. You interview 30 candidates and then select the one candidate who met your criteria the best. Excited upon finding such a brilliant candidate, you offer him salary and benefits that are higher than you originally budgeted for. Yet, what the candidate really wants is not to work in the corporate world long term, but instead start his own business  soon. In spite of you giving your 100% as an employer, you cannot fulfill the candidates needs. No matter what you do from your end, since the other person is motivated by contrary desires, what you give is not of value to him. You would have been better of to offer the job to another candidate, who although may not be academically perfect as the first candidate, actually wants a long term career in the corporate world and not start his own business soon.

Example 3)
You are hired as a software tester. Instead of working as a tester, you put rigorous effort as a software programmer, as you are not really interested in testing. Indeed, you may be working very hard, but not towards the reason you were hired, and thus your employer is not likely to be satisfied.

Example 4)
You prepare a beautiful three course non-vegetarian meal, putting lot of effort. It is the most wonderful tasting meal. Only problem – the guests that came to dinner are all vegetarians. Despite all your effort,  the guests could not appreciate the value of the work you put into making the delicious meal.

Thus, in order to get what you want, it is very important to know what the other person needs, and give that. A person gets fulfilled only upon getting what he wants, and not upon receiving something else. Only in fulfilling other’s needs is it likely that they will work towards fulfilling our needs. It is important to realize that in some cases, the other person may not really want anything that we have to offer, or we may not want to give what they need. In this case, it is better to find other people who will be very fulfilled by what we have to offer, so that they in turn can fulfill us.

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