DR. LISA LOVE REFLECTIONS
As a counselor I have often told people that they need to learn to love themselves. Yet, while saying this to others, I have at times taken pause to reflect and ask myself, “What does that really mean? How do we know the difference between a self-love and a selfish love? And, what can we do practically to love ourselves in the right way?” Perhaps the quote above holds a clue, because I believe true self love fills us with enough joy, peace, and love that our desire to be loving human beings grows. Because of this we want to express more empathy, compassion, and understanding towards others.Why Real Love Requires Self Love.
Read more>> Why Real Love Requires Sel Love
“Once you label me you negate me.” -Soren Kierkegaard
When you were growing up do you remember the labels people would put on you or other kids? Even teachers and parents would label kids and typically those labels stuck like glue throughout their lives.
When talking about their kids I’ve heard parents say, “Oh he/she’s the smart one, or so-and-so is the athletic one, or this one is lazy and that one’s our helper.
OMG….don’t people get it? Can’t they hear themselves? Don’t they realize how they are setting their kids up to fail? Children are so impressionable and of course they believe their parents.
It’s so sad to watch a classmate be labeled nerd, snob, bitch, slut, loser, fatso, shy one and on and on. These labels sadly define that child’s experience throughout their school years and not only causes a daily silent misery but it irreparably whittles away at their self esteem.
Can you imagine for one second if it were you who had to endure such cruelty instead of them? Not to mention how alone they must feel.
Unfortunately for some this kind of labeling continues its stranglehold into adulthood. These children grow up carrying around these labels and suffer with issues and insecurities throughout their lifetime. And, they don’t realize how little they deserve it.
When you buy into the labels that people have pinned on you, you never live up to your full potential and you allow other people to determine how you live your life. Worse yet, you may start to believe them yourself.
Don’t ever let anyone define you to be any less than who you truly are; a capable, strong, loving, caring, wonderful soul who has the potential to be, have or do anything.
People can call you names but it’s up to you whether you answer to that name or not.
Albert Einstein didn’t speak until he was 4 years old and didn’t read until he was 7. I’m sure they called him stupid! Thomas Edison’s teacher said he was too stupid to learn anything. Winston Churchill failed sixth grade and Isaac Newton did very poorly in grade school!
I know people whose parents have belittled them, told them they would never amount to anything, they weren’t good enough and if I can’t love you who can. The pain is still so palpable when speaking with them that it makes we want to cry and breaking these beliefs can take a lifetime.
So the next time you hear someone put anyone else down stop them in their tracks. The next time you tell yourself you’re not good enough, the next time you walk around with that old, worn out lie around your neck, rip it off, rip it up and throw away the garbage that other people fed you long ago.
Know deep down inside that you are who YOU say you are, not what others say you are. Know that you have people who love you and believe you are special to them. And without you, their lives wouldn’t be the same. Know that no one and no thing can ever define you unless you give them permission.
Go out today and celebrate that you can finally have a relationship with your true self. The self that has the potential to be and feel so much more and who can let go of the suffering that these labels have imposed on you.
Rejoice in your light because the truth is we are love, we are special in so many different ways and only we can choose whether we buy into the labels or not.
Do you want to find out how to change your life for the best? Susan Russo is an author and coach who has inspired people from around the world learn the secrets of finding happiness within. Would you like to learn the secrets?
What is your experience of life? Do you experience life as a set of random events in which you have little say and control? If you do, you form part of the majority of people who live as victims of life, having life happen to them. In a previous article we touched on the fact that although most people tend to live this way, there is a growing group of people who, instead of struggling to make a living, are having fun designing their lives. What makes the difference between these two groups of people? Is the one group having more luck than the other? The reality is that luck has nothing to do with it. Instead, the second group, having fun designing their lives, have discovered one of the greatest secrets to a happy and successful life – the fact that instead of simply being a set of random events, every aspect of life is governed and its outcome determined by the understanding and implementation of the Universal Laws and Principles. As much as there are natural, physical laws that govern the order of the universe such as the Law of Gravity, there are Universal, Cosmic or Spiritual Laws and Principles that govern the order of life. In this article we will examine some of these Laws and Principles and the role each play in determine the outcome of life.
Before we look at these Laws and Principles, it is important to understand what we mean by these terminologies.
Law – a binding rule. There is nothing you can do to change it. It is immutable. Violating a law contains inherent harm, suffering or punishment. Obeying a law contains inherent benefit, reward or blessing. The suffering we experience as a result of violating these Laws should serve as feed-back; lessons that we need to learn in order to change what we do in order to change the outcome.
Principle – the underlying cause of an outcome. If you do something a certain way, you can virtually predict the outcome.
These Laws and Principles are not intended to dictate to, or control you. They are intended to inform and enlighten you as to the way things work. You also need to be careful not to look at the workings of these Laws and Principles as purely mechanical. Your will, desires and attitude also play a role in the creation of your life circumstances, situations and events, as well as influence those of others. The purpose of this article is to inspire you to look at life in a new way and to assist during some of the more uncertain times in your life, when you need answers to help provide some solutions.
It is important to understand that the application or implementation of each Universal Law activates an inherent Principle. The outcome of your life is directly determined by your knowledge and implementation of these Universal Laws and Principles. “You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.
Although we cannot necessarily arrange the Universal Laws and Principles in order of importance, it is safe to say that the Law of Cause and Effect is seen as the most basic of all Universal Laws. The Law of Cause and Effect implies that nothing exists or is experienced independently or capriciously. Every situation, circumstance or event was created by a cause. Every cause creates an effect. The only way you can bring a change in whatever it is that you are experiencing, which is the effect, is to change the cause.
Following is a list of some of the Universal Laws that if correctly applied and implemented will activate their inherent principles which in turn will create causes leading to effects – the situations, circumstances or events in your life.
- The Law of Mind – The condition of your mind or consciousness (thoughts, will and emotions), positive or negative, will determine the condition of your life, positive or negative. A positive, empowering mind will create positive cause leading to positive effect, in turn determining the quality of the situations, circumstances or events in your life.
- The Law of Attraction – Your thoughts attract to you those things that correspond with the quality of your thoughts, positive or negative. Positive thoughts attract positive situations, circumstances or events. Negative thoughts attract negative situations, circumstances or events.
- The Law of Thought – You become what you think. Whatever thoughts you entertain over a period of time (in your conscious mind) will eventually settle as beliefs (in your subconscious mind) and will control the outcome of your life. The only way to change disempowering beliefs into empowering beliefs is to discontinue keeping your mind busy with disempowering thoughts and deliberately start thinking empowering thoughts.
- The Law of Belief – Whatever your belief about anything (in your subconscious mind) will eventually create according to that belief (according to the Law of Attraction). Essentially, your beliefs consist of your internal dialogue – what you inadvertently say to yourself about the situation – and your imagination – the picture you inadvertently hold in your mind about the situation. One way in which you can become aware of your beliefs is by observing your reality and paying attention to what comes out of your mouth.
- The Law of Expectation – Whatever you expect (created by the belief in your subconscious mind) will create according to the expectation. Do not confuse expectation (which is subconscious) with wants and wishes. Wants and wishes very seldom come true as they are usually based on a sense of lack, which according to the Law of Attraction will create more lack. Every person has expectations, whether of something positive or negative, creating circumstance, situations or events accordingly.
- The Law of Acceptance – There is a saying, “whatever you resist will persist”. The reason for this is that whatever you focus on will remain, as focus feeds any situation with energy. Acceptance, not to be confused with capitulation or denial, but a conscious decision to accept the fact that something is the way that it is without attributing value to it, takes the focus off the situation, making it subject to change.
- The Law of Focus – Whatever you focus on in your thinking, positive or negative, is what you continue feeding energy. The object of your focus becomes magnified and will remain. Instead, acknowledge the presence of the situation with the understanding that it is subject to change and move your focus on what you desire. The moment you remove you focus from the negative situation, you allow for change in the situation. By focusing on what you desire, according to the Law of Attraction, you will create more of what you are focusing on.
- The Law of Forgiveness or Release – Unforgiveness holds you to the person or situation you won’t forgive or release – you are the one that suffers. Forgiveness simply implies letting go of the emotion attached to the issue. You know that you have forgiven when you can think of the person or event without feeling the negative emotion.
- The Law of Love – Love (unconditional acceptance) is always reciprocal. The more you love, not necessarily only the experiencing of the emotion, but the acceptance of the person as created in the image and likeness of God (separating the persons’ actions from their being), the more you will be loved in the same way.
- The Law of Gratitude – Whatever you are grateful for for, you will experience more of. The Laws of Focus and Attraction work together in this instance. Starting the day with an Attitude of Gratitude sets the mood for a positive experience fo the rest of the day, in spite of perceived negative situations.
The million dollar question should now be, “how do I apply and implement these Laws and Principles?” In another article we will learn how to do just that. For now, it is important to develop a knowledge and understanding of the Laws and Principles mentioned above. It is important to understand that there are many, many more of these Laws and Principles, literally for every aspect of life. Once learnt and implemented, you will no longer feel a victim, but become a designer of your life. Enjoy the journey!
John A. Smith – About the Author:
I am a public speaker and teacher as well as mentor in the field of recovery and personal development.I can be contacted at email@example.com. Website http//.co.za/
~I am disgusted when women talk about other women. That is called self-hating. …When a woman hates on another woman, that hater not only degrades herself but also slips down further from the woman she’s hating on. Ladies, A REAL WOMAN KNOWS HER WORTH THEREFORE SHE DOES NOT NEED TO ENVY OR HATE, JUDGE OR BE JEALOUS OF ANOTHER WOMAN. Have some pride and respect. We must uplift other women instead of bringing them down. Unless YOU ARE A SAINT or GOD, you have no right to judge ANYONE. And who are you to judge? Oh, your educated, and you have a degree but WITHOUT CLASS . An educated woman DOES NOT need to hate on anyone. So if you think having a piece of paper hanging on your wall, or having a high-paying job gives you the right to hate, judge and talk about another woman, then you have wasted all that money and time you spent on getting that piece of paper because OBVIOUSLY you haven’t learned a damn thing.
You can pay for education but you can NEVER BUY CLASS. Please look in the mirror and CLASSIFY AND CLAIM YOURSELF AS A DAMN HATER and get help soon. Hatred is a disease. A DISEASE OF THE SOUL. Please Oh please get some damn help. I ONLY FEEL SORRY FOR YOU. When you judge another woman, you define WHO YOU REALLY ARE and I hope your man realizes that!
I DON’T HATE YOU. I HAVE NO REASON TO HATE ANYONE. YOU DON’T KNOW ME AND I DON’T KNOW YOU. Please spend some time working on yourselves so you do not need to hate on anyone. You can have the prettiest face and the sexiest body, still does not give you the right to judge or hate and to me, your ugly personality plus your diseased soul equals “the ugliest woman ever” Actually it gose for man too. SHAME ON YOU! Good luck with that!
- Full of hatred. (joannewellington.wordpress.com)
Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important… Only you know what is best for you
Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or the future… By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.
Don’t give up when you still have something to give…. Nothing is really over … until the moment you stop trying.
Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect……. It is the fragile thread that binds us to each other.
Don’t be afraid to encounter risks….. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give love.
The fastest way to lose love is to hold on too tightly…. And the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
Don’t dismiss your Dreams….. To be without dreams is to be without hope….. To be without hope is to be without purpose.
Don’t run through life so fast that you forget where you’ve been…. But also know where you’re going.
Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored every step of the way.
♥ racquel ♥
- Life is Life (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)