When a normal relationship comes to an end it is one of the hardest things we have to do. But ending a narcissistic relationship is twice as hard and can even be downright nasty. If you are the one ending the relationship then it’s a sure sign you are healthier than you think. Now you just have to find a way to stay strong.
You might be ending the relationship over things that don’t seem important but deep down you know they are insurmountable. The fact is, in a narcissistic relationship, you are not getting your love returned.
If you are dumped by a narcissist it will probably be quick and heartless. You will be left on your own to sort out what went wrong, just like in any breakup, but in this type of relationship it will be even more confusing. The narcissist will probably already have someone else lined up before they leave you. In fact narcissists are sometimes serial cheaters and they don’t have any remorse whatsoever. If this is the case then you should feel good about the breakup. If you get away from this person you will no longer be subjected to
Your decision is a little harder if you are trying to end this destructive relationship over something that might seem small to others. You can end up doubting your decision, especially during the initial stages of the breakup when you are lonely and thinking you would rather be with this person than be alone no matter what the problems are. You begin to believe the manipulation you have been subjected to in the narcissistic relationship.
You think if you just try harder you can make him/her love you. You must get this out of your mind. The narcissist is incapable of loving anyone but themselves.
It is important not only to stay strong when you are ending a narcissistic relationship. It is also important to get advice from someone who has been there or seek out professional counseling. This is a hard relationship to recover from because the narcissist has very skillfully brainwashed you into thinking everything is your fault. They have their hooks in you and it is hard to break free.
You need to stay focused on why you are breaking up. You no longer want to be put down or subjected to rages or made to feel you are unworthy of this person. You want a mutually loving relationship. And even though you have been conned into thinking you don’t – you DO deserve a healthy relationship.
The fact is that even if your partner has not cheated you have been abused in a very subtle way. The narcissist has controlled you and lowered your self-esteem. You may not even be aware of this right now but in time you will start to heal and realize what a bad situation you have been involved in.
You are probably ending this relationship either because your partner cheated on you, physically or verbally abused you or was just never there for you. Any of those reasons are good reasons to end this relationship.
Stay strong by remembering when you needed your partner’s emotional support and he/she just didn’t care. You’ve probably tried talking with your partner many times about how you felt and he/she still didn’t care. That will never change. Your desire for a partner who will have empathy for you is what will keep you strong. And, the narcissist is not capable of feeling anything for you.
This might be the hardest thing to understand. The narcissist cannot meet your needs for reciprocal love. Period. Focus your energies on someone who is deserving of your love.
Rene Carlton – About the Author:
Click the link for more information on the narcissistic relationship
- How to deal with a narcissist – The signs, the protection and the support (joannewellington.wordpress.com)
Do you have a cold, overbearing, self interested, grandious individual in your life? If so, its vital that you learn how to recognize and how to deal with a narcissist. Knowing how you can deal with a narcissist has many benefits, but the most important being that you will learn how to protect your self from emotional, and potential bodily abuse.
As a narcissism support practitioner over a number of years, I strongly believe that it is essential to be made aware about the narcissistic personality so you can have sensible expectations when dealing with coworkers, buddies, or members of the family who might have a few of these qualities.
Here are some methods to be familiar with a narcissist: Their motto is always “Me first!” Everything’s all about them. They have a grandiose sense of self-importance and entitlement, crave admiration and attention. A legend in their very own mind, the world is mirrored in their image. They’ll corner you at a party, and narrate their life saga. Some narcissists may be charming, clever, caring–that’s, until their guru-status is threatened. Whenever you stop stroking their ego or beg to disagree, they’ll turn on you and become punishing and abusive.
These people are so harmful because they lack empathy, and have a restricted capacity for unconditional love. Sadly, their hearts either haven’t developed or have been shut down due to early psychic trauma, such as being raised by narcissistic dad and mom, a crippling handicap both emotionally and spiritually. Onerous as it might be to grasp, these folks have little insight into their actions, nor do they regret them. Though usually extremely intuitive, they primarily use intuition for self-interest and manipulation.
To find out if you’re coping with a narcissist, ask your self the next questions:
* Does the particular person act as if life revolves round him or her?
* Do I have to compliment him/her to get his attention or approval?
* Does he/she continuously steer the conversation back to himself?
* Does he/she downplay my feelings or interests?
* If I disagree, does he/she become cold or withholding?
Should you reply “sure” to one or 2 questions, it’s possible you’re coping with a narcissist. Responding “sure” to three or more questions suggests that a narcissist is violating your emotional freedom and due to this fact being abusive.
Narcissists are laborious nuts to crack. My recommendation is: Don’t fall in love with a narcissist or entertain illusions they are capable of the give and take mandatory for intimacy. In such relationships you will always be emotionally deserted to some degree. When you have a withholding narcissist partner, beware of making an attempt to win the nurturing you never got out of your parents; it’s not going to happen. Also, do not anticipate to have your sensitivity honored. These people sour love with all of the hoops you will need to jump through to please them.
paul2012frees – About the Author:
Despite all the difficulties in coping with a narcissist, there are excellent methods and support services accessible for anyone struggling in a narcissistic relationship and not able to move away from it for any reason. To find how to deal with a narcissist, and what support is available click the preceding link (or CLICK HERE NOW) to visit Stop-The-Abuse.info