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Friendship ~ An offspring of Spiritual affinity.

I was doing some thinking today about Friendship and what all it means and implies, it’s obligations and so on. The most important thing to remember is… Always appreciate the friends that you have. A fight may come and go very easily, but a friendship could last forever.  For every second spent in anger, a minute of happiness is wasted. Most people walk in and out of your life. But only true friends leave footprints in your heart.

friendshipWhen we look back on our younger years, we will remember the people who went to school with us, the people who made us laugh, the people who hung out with us when nobody else would, and the  people who made our lives much better simply by being a part of it. Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget. The language of friendship is not in words but in their meanings.

True real friendships are hard to come by. That is why you need to know the meanings and signs of a true real friendship. It is extremely important to know your true real friends. As you read on below, try and picture your ‘true real friends’ and try and decide whether are they as true and as real as you think they are.

Everyone has friends and need friends. People that we interact with everyday in school, at work, in the same apartment, in the metro,at the gym, the list goes on. But I always believe in quality, not quantity. I would rather have a few true friends than a hundred of  regular friends (like on Facebook). Everyone is different and have different perspectives on true friendships but there are some fundamentals for a true friendship that you can’t overlook.

Firstly, this person or true friend needs to give you a huge sense of trust. You need to see this person and believe, “I trust them and want to share everything with this person.” Can you trust them with your secrets? Trust them with your girlfriend or boyfriend? Trust them with your problems or embarrassing moments? These are all things to take note of. It is not easy to feel this way about someone but I have found such friends, and I believe that it is possible for you to find a true friend you can call your own.

Secondly, imagine it is  3 AM in the morning. You met with something unfortunate, let’s say your car broke down. You think of all the ‘friends’ that you have and you slowly make a note of who will actually help you. Finally you settled on someone who might help and called him or her. What would his or her response be? Irritation? Frustration? Or someone who will sacrifice their sleep to get out of bed to either pick you up or assist you by giving you a list of numbers which you can get for help. Let’s say it’s something serious. You really really need someone to talk to in the middle of the night, you’re so desperate you need someone to talk to. Will your ‘friend’ be that someone? A true friend would, no matter how tired they are.

Another sign would be that you will never get tired of a true friend’s company. And vice versa. You all can remain silent and will not feel awkward about it. It sounds very much like a fairy tale but it is true. They will never ever judge you as well. No matter what you did, that person would be there beside you, and correct you if you are really in the wrong, but he or she will never judge you and gossip about you behind your back. A true friend loves without condition and will not expect anything in return.

Of course this gets a little complicated with the opposite sex. It is a fact that when a male and a female gets closer, one of them is bound to start wondering if things can be developed further. The trouble comes in when only one of them is feeling this way. For example, the other party might start expecting to be loved back or might expect you to feel the same way about them. Attraction is tricky business. Therefore, this is one thing that one must be aware of, so that you will know how to handle it when it comes.

True real friends double your happiness and half your burdens. Basically how you would like a true real friend to be, you should be like this to your true friends. Trust, forgiveness,bonding and accountability are some ingredients of a true friend. True friendships are hard to come by. And what’s more, life is short. So treasure these friends if you have already have them. If you don’t continue to search, because once you have them, life becomes so much easier to live, no matter what happens. I have been through pretty rough patches and I dare say, without my friends I would not have made it.

Friendships need lots of energy and patience to maintain them. Not to mention time too. When your friend needs you, sometimes when things are not going too well on your side, it is often so easy to turn a deaf ear to their pleas. It is especially during these times, that you must find the strength in you to help your friend. And it is during these times that your friendship will be forged and made stronger.

And you must always be happy for their successes, even when things are not going too well on your side. It might be hard to do for some people but it is something that you need to learn. Think about all the sacrifices your friend has made for you and all the times when he or she was happy for you despite his or her own troubles.

Think about all the happy times you all enjoyed and the sad, rough times you all went through together. That should give you sufficient patience to actually be a true friend for them. Remember, true friends are the next best thing to family. They will always be your pillar of support no matter what. Always.

Here I would like to narrate a short story regarding the need of friendship and true friends..

My mother used to ask me what is the most important part of the body. Through the years I would take a guess at what I thought was the correct answer. When I was younger, I thought sound was very important to us as humans, so I said, “My ears, Mommy.”

She said, “No. Many people are deaf. But you keep thinking about it and I will ask you again soon.”

Several years passed before she asked me again. Since making my first attempt, I had contemplated the correct answer. So this time I told her, “Mommy, sight is very important to everybody, so it must be our eyes.”

She looked at me and told me, “You are learning fast, but the answer is not correct because there are many people who are blind.”

Stumped again, I continued my quest for knowledge and over the years, Mother asked me a couple more times and always her answer was, “No. But you are getting smarter every year, my child.”

Then last year, my Grandpa died. Everybody was hurt. Everybody was crying. Even my father cried. I remember that especially because it was only the second time I saw him cry. My Mom looked at me when it was our turn to say our final goodbye to Grandpa. She asked me, “Do you know the most important body part yet, my dear?”

I was shocked when she asked me this now. I always thought this was a game between her and me. She saw the confusion on my face and told me, “This question is very important. It shows that you have really lived in our life. For every body part you gave me in the past, I have told you were wrong and I have given you an example why. But today is the day you need to learn this important lesson.”

She looked down at me as only a mother can. I saw her eyes well up with tears. She said, “My dear, the most important body part is your shoulder.”

I asked, “Is it because it holds up my head?”

She replied, “No, it is because it can hold the head of a friend or a loved one when they cry. Everybody needs a shoulder to cry on sometime in life, my dear. I only hope that you have enough love and friends that you will always have a shoulder to cry on when you need it.”

That is the wonderful thing about friendship-you always feel loved and cared about. Friendship is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations.

The most beautiful discovery friends can make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.

– About the Author:

MA (English),PGDMM,MBA (Faculty of Management Studies,University of Delhi,India), Management Education,Training & Soft Skills Consultant. Over 35 years Industry,Education and Training experience.

Associate Professor and Head,Department of Management Studies, Jagannath International Management School(affiliated to GGS Indraprastha University,New Delhi,India)

!~!~!”””” The Tear “”””!~!~!

Just when I found it unbearable to fight

The flow of the salty water made me feel light

Washed away all my frustration

Wiped out the feeling of humiliation

Erased one by one, all the confusion

Prepared to embrace devil and angel with arms open

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The priceless emotion, rolling down

From the most sensible organ

It is called the tear

For me it is very near and dear

Which helps blow the heavier feelings into thin air

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It is the new dawn today

Forgotten are the developments of the night yesterday

I am a bit excited at this point in time

Today I have a new task, a new level to climb

A new hope emerged beneath the core of my heart.

It is the new beginning, yes! I am ready to restart today now……~Joanne wellington~

How To Manage Your Anger – Introduction and Tips

In this article we will talk about the symptoms or kinds of anger, this way you will be able to know how to manage your anger. We will also give some tips on how to cope with your anger. You don’t need anger management treatment because you can do it all by yourself, all you need is peace of mind and realization, then everything will be alright. We will also talk about the things that will trigger anger and the things that most people do when they are angry. This article is for those who are trying to find their way out of this problem and those who want more advice on how to manage their anger.

anger2There are two symptoms of anger, with these examples you will be able to know or identify what kind of anger you are feeling. There many factors or scenarios that triggers our mood or our emotions. There different people in this planet and we all have different ways of showing our feelings. These symptoms will help you identify what kind of anger you are experiencing.

  • Aggressive Anger – This is the most common symptom of anger. The symptoms of aggressive anger are: shouting, bullying, driving recklessly, harming animals, using foul languages, destroying objects, verbally and physically aggressive and using illogical arguments. Most people who under this category are with angry with the influence of alcohol and drugs.
  • Passive Anger – It is a bit hard to identify, but the feelings are also the same with aggressive anger, they just have different ways of showing their anger like emotional blackmailing, gossiping, back stabbing, and obsessive dependency over things, over-dieting, apathy, perfectionism and showing lack of concern for everything.

The aggressive one tend to hurt people emotionally and physically, or you can obviously see that they are angry, while passive one are quiet and you won’t even notice that they are angry or irritated. They might be angry to you that why they are saying bad things behind you, to destroy your image and etc.

We all know that being angry won’t solve anything. It will just make the situation or the problem worse and you may even say things that you are not supposed to say. You will also hurt someone physically and emotionally if you don’t manage your anger. I know it is hard to fight or control that kind of emotion, but we need to stay calm because if we will let our emotions drive us, then nothing will be solved and you will be just pissed off.

Anger management is important because they will tell you or give you tips that can help you manage your emotions. If you don’t have time for that kind of sessions you can actually try these steps whenever you feel mad or angry about something.

  • Try to relax and keep calm whenever there a problem. Try to understand and realize the things around you or what’s happening. Being calm will help you think properly and you will be able to solve the problem in no time.
  • Try to go out or avoid people when you are angry, especially if you are that aggressive type, to avoid saying thing or hurting people.

Want more tips? Click here to get your own copy of how to manage your anger now!

To forgive takes strength to set aside what is often justifiable anger.

To forgive really is divine. It takes strength to set aside what is often justifiable anger. It’s much easier to hold a grudge. Yet when we make the choice and allow ourselves to put aside that anger and to forgive those who have harmed us, we actually do ourselves a great service. Making the conscious decision to let go of pain is the beginning of healing. But doing so is challenging because it is easy to become attached to seeing oneself as a victim and to hold onto resentment, even when the person who has harmed us is genuinely sorry. Forgiving someone is both one of the most difficult and one of the most spiritually rewarding choices we can make.
While forgiveness is a noble act, expressing true forgiveness is empowering because it helps us to stop feeling like victims and to dispel our own suffering at having been wronged. Our levels of anger and hostility decreases while our capacity to love increases. We are better able to control our anger and we have an enhanced capacity to trust. We are freed from the control of past events, which can help us to stop repeating negative behavior. Both our physical and mental health improves. Though many people feel forgiveness is something that must be asked for or earned by another, forgiveness is actually a gift you give to yourself…..
~JW~

Relationships that break up…

relationship-breakupThinking a lot about this as so many people are going through or have recently been through this, its a hard time for these people, I remember well when my marriage ended after 14 years, thinking your on the right track, then bang, they walk out the door, leaving this trail of heart ache and devastation not only to you, but to family and friends, everyone is affected when this happens. I remember times of being suicidal, to the point where I had a councillor come to my home each week, feeling like no one else will make you happy, the fears that come with starting that new journey are both daunting and scary and if your life me and have children, there are those questions, will they like my children, will they love my children, will my children like and love that person so many things running around ones head, not wanting to move on, hoping and praying they come back, begging for them to come back, willing to change as a person to get that person back……………………………..

So where do we start when this happens, first thing I learnt was I had to look at why, was I really happy with him anyway……………. no, was the relationship the best in the world…………………….. no, what was it that I was so scared of, what was I trying to hold on too, well sometimes something is better than nothing, there is a comfort zone, knowing who you are with, knowing where you stand even when your not totally happy its better than the alternative.

The amount of people that I have asking for readings asking if they will come back, wont find anyone else, that’s  it now no more, cant do this again, why has this happened, lots and lots of questions running around ones head, answers needed to help.

If there is one thing I have learnt, that people come in our lives for a reason, sometimes it is to help each other, sometimes to experience love, sometimes to just learn lessons, no matter what there is always something good to take from the relationship and equally there is something to learn from it. the way I got through my divorce was to really look at the whole thing, I was never truly happy, but not happy to leave myself, so really he did me a favour, at the time though had anyone said that I could not have even comprehended that to be the case, I needed to come to that conclusion myself. so then I looked at what I could learn, ok so I have learnt to not just go into a relationship because I care, because they make me feel good at that time, I have learnt that I will only accept the best, and not take second best, I have learnt, that if a relationship ends, that’s how it is, its meant to be, what is more important is the healing phase, finding yourself again like I had too, no point trying to force someone to be with you, is that really going to make a good happy relationship later………………. I think not

We cant change the past, but we can the future, so what can we bring forward into a new relationship, simply ourselves, its not good carrying all those scars, holding on to what other people have done to you in the past, and no relationship will work when you do that, again its about healing, one persons loss is another ones gain.

Look at what your scared of, what is so scary about a new relationship, for me it was about someone accepting and loving me for me, the rejection dating can bring etc, there is that saying feel the fear and do it anyway. Self love is important, if you don’t love you, how can someone else truly love you.

I guess what I am trying to say is, if I can get over a 14 year marriage, stay friends with him, and go on my own journey, and find love again, and its not a love like I had in the past, it is much better than that, the relationship is different and stronger, I am happier now than I have been in my whole life, so when I look back was it really so wrong my ex husband left me for someone else?? Hell no she got my left over’s where as I started a new life.

What will be will be, if it was a mistake that person will come back to you, let them come back, but don’t put your life on hold, get out there, heal, be happy, and if that person doesn’t come back, trust me and believe me when I say to you, that you will find a greater love, and happiness than what you thought you could ever experience. I gave myself a time limit, when that clock struck midnight on new years eve, that was it for me, no more tears, no more begging, no more nothing it was going to be about me and my children, taking control is important too x

A Few things to ponder on

Is he/ she really giving you what you want and need?

Was the relationship really a happy one?

What are you actuall missing by not being in the relationship?

What are you truly scared of now?

What have you learnt from this relationship, that you can take forward in a positive way in a new relationship?

Are you ready for a new relationship?

If so what are you doing about it, sitting at home waiting wont make it happen you have to work at it, getting out and about, being on line dating sites etc?

Is there a pattern to your relationships that keep failing, is it the type of person? is there something you have not healed from?

Look at what you really want need and desreve

Is that person ticking all the boxes?

Are you paying attention to warning signs but ignoring them?

Have you forgiven the people that have hurt you in the past so that you can truly move on?

Do you love yourself enough, to be able to let another person love you?

Well that is my ramble for today; I hope it helps even if it is just one person

Lots of love, and healing to all those going through a hard time right now xx

Written by Anne Marie Psychic-Medium

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