There are many articles and pieces of information about personal growth and the self image, most of which help the reader to push forward in life and make important changes if they can. Many times however changes are only temporary and we very quickly resort to our old ways. One thing I have learned about personal growth is it is sometimes difficult to take on board all the information that is available, partly because of the sheer quantity of it and partly because it’s big business and there always seems to be a new way of doing something. It’s hard to keep abreast of the latest product or idea.
I am writing this article to introduce you to some beneficial ideas that I have learned about personal growth and in particular the self image over the last ten years or so. I have put these ideas into practice and have had huge successes, although initially I found it hard going. I hope you benefit too.
All your actions, feelings and emotions are consistent with your self image. By the way your self image was forced upon you when you were a child. The environment and people you grew up with formed the image of yourself while you were very small and impressionable. Of course you did have some say in the matter as you grew older but your basic self image was formed when you were very young. This means of course you are not responsible for any feelings and beliefs you now have since you didn’t intentionally create them! However the good news is, now that you are an adult, you can redesign the image of yourself and therefore your life, exactly the way you want it!
So then, the self image can be changed. Positive thinking doesn’t help because it is external. If you change your self image everything else has to change too. Your whole life has to be consistent with your new image. In each person there is a ‘life instinct.’ We all want more life, more health, more happiness and success. In Maxwell Maltz book ‘Psycho-Cybernetics’ he describes this life instinct as a ‘creative mechanism’ which if used correctly becomes a ‘success mechanism.’ This mechanism must have goals to work on. These goals are of course mental images created by your imagination. Your number one goal should be your self image. He says ” Our self image prescribes the limits for the accomplishment of any particular goal. It prescribes the area of the possible.” So then you must visualise and act out new action patterns. You must act as if you are wealthy, successful and the person you want to be.
Most people unfortunately still are unable to put the previous paragraph into practice – I was one of them – and achieve what they want out of life therefore the following information is for them.
Your self image is created in two ways. Both are crucial to your success. The first is A BELIEF IN YOUR ABILITIES. This part of your image can be changed easily by rational thought. If you are not able to do something then go out and learn how to do it. This new confidence will help you achieve your goals. You can do or learn absolutely anything to be the sort of person you want to be. Since this part of your self image needs you to actually get up and learn a new skill or become more knowledgeable about a particular topic, to help you become the person you want to be, I don’t want to spend too long speaking about it. It’s up to you! If you really want to achieve or become better at something or be a certain type of person there is plenty of information on how to do it. The internet is a fantastic resource to start with. Just do it!
The second way your self image is created is a belief borne out by how you feel EMOTIONALLY about yourself. Your self image has to be consistent with how you feel about yourself emotionally. This emotional charge can be very powerful depending on how you were treated as a child.
For example….when you were a child, if you asked your mother to help you with a game or some painting you were doing and she said ‘No, I’m too busy,’ the emotional content of that statement would of had a huge influence on your self image. Let me explain. If she said it with a smile and a soft voice then that would have had a positive effect on your self image. However, if she said it harshly with a scowl on her face that would of had a negative effect on your self image. It is the emotional content of what she said rather than the answer itself that makes the difference. As a child you would have experienced many such episodes, some good, some bad. Hopefully the good would have outweighed the bad. If you have a negative self image which has been formed in this way you will not be able to improve it by rational argument. By the way people who have a negative image of themselves, formed in this way, put everybody else first all the time, believing that they are unimportant. They believe that they don’t deserve very much from life. We all know somebody like that.
As we grow up these emotionally charged incidence have less of an effect on us. Psychologists tell us up to 5 years old is the period we are most susceptible to this type of self image formation, however we are still susceptible up to the age of about 12 years old.
So why can’t we just change things?
If we now know that having a low self image due to emotional events while we were growing up is holding us back, why can’t we just change those feelings to more resourceful ones?
Well these feelings and emotions were formed by emotional events during your childhood, and the belief you have about yourself is buried deep in the subconscious mind. If you were aware of every feeling, every emotion, every thought, then you could change things into something more resourceful. However this level of awareness would put you in the zen monk category. I talk about this on my website below.
For the majority of people this just isn’t going to happen. The subconscious mind doesn’t care if you are unhappy or poor or lonely. The subconscious mind is concerned with your survival. Your internal world was formed while you were young and it was formed in such a way that it gave you the greatest amount of safety and security.
For example….while you were growing up, you learned that water is safe to drink but dangerous to fall into, likewise, electricity powers a light bulb and gives you light so you can read but is extremely dangerous to touch.
Your subconscious does not want to change any of this information because doing so might be dangerous to you. Likewise the self image formed from emotional events and deeply ingrained in your subconscious is part of you and must stay there to keep you safe as far as your subconscious is concerned. Your earliest experiences gave your subconscious mind enough data to build up a picture of who you are and how much you are worth. If your self image is such that it believes that you are a failure your subconscious mind will have you act in such a way as to fulfill this belief every single time!
So how do we improve this part of your self image?
Your subconscious created it so you could be as safe and secure as possible when you were young, given the circumstances you had to deal with. We can improve it very easily by doing something that most people are familiar with but unfortunately don’t do properly and that is of course by goal setting.(more information on my website below) By goal setting correctly we immediately give the subconscious mind something positive to work on.
If you remember, I said that this part of your self image only responds to the emotional content of your perceived world. This is the reason you have the kind of self image that you have now. Therefore it is important to realise that this part of your self image will only RESPOND TO EMOTION ONCE AGAIN. This is why you must IMAGINE and VISUALISE what you want. You must get EXCITED about every aspect of it. If you don’t get excited then you must choose another goal. Unfortunately people try to make their goals ‘realistic’ in terms of what their present self image tells them they are capable of.
For example….the person who wants the million dollar mansion but settles for the 200K one because his present self image tells him he has to be ‘realistic.’ It is this very ‘realistic’ self image that has kept him down in the first place! If he kept imagining and visualising what he really wants, and gets excited about it, the subconscious mind HAS TO bring the opportunities that will help him acquire his million dollar mansion! This is the way Universal Law works!
If people would only realise that the subconscious will make all their dreams come true if they believed this to be the case. Doing little action steps towards each goal on a daily basis will keep you positive and looking forward. If this was done by everyone we would all be completely in charge of our own lives and less dependent on government, welfare and outside influences.
It is such a pity that the subconscious mind is prevented from achieving anything that you really want because the conscious mind judges everything by what the eye and ear reports to be true, much of which is only perception with no real truth. Personal growth is all about the self image and awareness. While most people may never be fully aware they can certainly work on dreams and goals. They can visualise and imagine how achieving them would feel. They can become excited by the mental images. If they are persistent over time, and small steps towards your goals are achieved, self image will improve and you will become more confident. These small successes snowball into bigger ones and before you know it you have achieved your largest long term goals. I wish you huge dreams and success!
- Thought Power – Your Thoughts Create Your Reality (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
- Knowing All About the Subconscious Mind (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
- Meditation ~ Four Different States of Mind (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
- Power of Subconscious Mind Over Health (joannewellington.wordpress.com)
- Why you should choose to follow your dreams.. (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
~I am disgusted when women talk about other women. That is called self-hating. …When a woman hates on another woman, that hater not only degrades herself but also slips down further from the woman she’s hating on. Ladies, A REAL WOMAN KNOWS HER WORTH THEREFORE SHE DOES NOT NEED TO ENVY OR HATE, JUDGE OR BE JEALOUS OF ANOTHER WOMAN. Have some pride and respect. We must uplift other women instead of bringing them down. Unless YOU ARE A SAINT or GOD, you have no right to judge ANYONE. And who are you to judge? Oh, your educated, and you have a degree but WITHOUT CLASS . An educated woman DOES NOT need to hate on anyone. So if you think having a piece of paper hanging on your wall, or having a high-paying job gives you the right to hate, judge and talk about another woman, then you have wasted all that money and time you spent on getting that piece of paper because OBVIOUSLY you haven’t learned a damn thing.
You can pay for education but you can NEVER BUY CLASS. Please look in the mirror and CLASSIFY AND CLAIM YOURSELF AS A DAMN HATER and get help soon. Hatred is a disease. A DISEASE OF THE SOUL. Please Oh please get some damn help. I ONLY FEEL SORRY FOR YOU. When you judge another woman, you define WHO YOU REALLY ARE and I hope your man realizes that!
I DON’T HATE YOU. I HAVE NO REASON TO HATE ANYONE. YOU DON’T KNOW ME AND I DON’T KNOW YOU. Please spend some time working on yourselves so you do not need to hate on anyone. You can have the prettiest face and the sexiest body, still does not give you the right to judge or hate and to me, your ugly personality plus your diseased soul equals “the ugliest woman ever” Actually it gose for man too. SHAME ON YOU! Good luck with that!
- Full of hatred. (joannewellington.wordpress.com)
To become more positive, surround yourself with positivity energy and avoid environments with lower energies.
Have you ever noticed that when you enter a room with a bunch of people, you can instantly feel the energy of the environment? Whether the energy is positive or negative, your mood is very likely to get influence…d by it. Each and every interaction we have with the outside world influences our mind. The mind turns relatively negative when in the midst of negative energy, and it turns relatively positive when in the midst of positive energy.
If you want to maintain a positive mind, the smart thing to do is to thus to exercise discretion, to the extent possible, as to what kind of energy you expose your mind to. Consciously choose situations that make you happy, and avoid situations that bring your energy down. The following are some of the areas where we can make conscious positive choices as opposed to blindly subjecting ourselves to negative energy:
Seek people who energize you. These people are happy and positive themselves. They are full of joy, and perceive the world to be a wonderful place full of possibilities. To the extent possible, avoid people who drain your energy. These people are forever stuck in the negative. They are chronic complainers, who see themselves as perfect, and just that the world needs to change to suit their own likes and dislikes. This does not mean that negative people do not deserve our love – in fact they need it more than positive people. What this means is that until the time we become very positive ourselves, it is best to avoid negative influences. After reaching a certain level in your spiritual growth, you will find that you have more mental immunity towards negative energy. When that time comes, you can become a source of strength to others.
Avoid all programs that bring your energy down. This means it is best to mostly stop watching the news. Negative news sells more then positive news, and thus the news is generally fully of negative energy. Whatever the bad news, it has already happened, and we can do nothing about it. By not choosing to participate in watching it, we stop being innocent transmitters of the negative energy. If you must watch TV, consciously choose inspirational and motivational programs. Completely avoiding TV is not a bad idea either. It will free up precious time for things that will help you grow as a person. Similarly, while selecting movies to watch, it is best to avoid movies that are tragic and violent. Instead, watch happy, funny and Inspirational movies that uplifts your spirit.
Again it is best to avoid reading online and offline news regularly. Even reading up on gossip does not help a person become positive. Gossip is simply judgement passed on someone else’s life. It is better to look at our own self and see how we can improve instead. Even on facebook, keep a watch for people who regularly post negative content. They are only showing us the quality of their own minds, and the more we expose ourselves to them, the more we are likely to become like them.
Just as the quality of your physical health is determined to the quality of the foods you take in, the quality of the mental health is determined by the energy of the environments you expose yourself to. The more discretion you exercise in consciously choosing positive environments, the more positive you will become.
- The Magnetic, Attracting, Power of the Mind (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
- The Inner Dialogue (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
- Warding Off Negative Influences – How To Keep Your Aura Strong (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
- The Powers of a Positive Mental Attitude (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
- Psychic Self-Defense – Easy Ways To Brighten Your Spiritual Light (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
- Thought Power – Your Thoughts Create Your Reality (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
- Taking things for granted ~ (joannewellington.wordpress.com)
- Self-Improvement ~Two Basic Principles. (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
I have heard people say this many times: “I will never forgive them for what they did!”, as if by saying this they are causing harm to the person who hurt them. The reality is that they are doing the harm to themselves alone. As defined in the dictionary, when you forgive someone you “cease to feel resentment”. Resentment, along with anger, hate, jealousy and other negative emotions, will eat you up inside and can cause actual physical ailments and disease.
Often times after we have been emotionally, physically or spiritually hurt, the pain quickly turns to anger and resentment. We go over the episodes of the past in our heads, re-living each painful moment again and again like a never-ending nightmare. Each time we do this the old feelings surface and we once again feel the gut-wrenching pain the person caused us. By doing this we are living in the past instead of the present, and it can be a dangerous thing for everyone involved but the majority of danger falls right into your lap.
Many people feel that forgiveness is a gift. I agree! It is a gift, but not to the one you are forgiving. The gift is to yourself and what a wondrous gift it can be.
By forgiving the people who have hurt you in the past you set yourself free from the chains of resentment and other harmful emotions running rampant through your mind, body and spirit. By forgiving you are taking away the control the other person has over you. You are empowering yourself and growing by spiritual leaps and bounds. You will heal deep-rooted pain that perhaps you thought was gone a long time ago but has survived, living under all of the resentment that you have held onto for so long. By forgiving you are one step closer to your journey of self-growth and healing.
Some of you are on a journey of helping Creator to give healing to others who need it. The first step on your journey is to heal yourself. This can be very difficult as well as painful but the upside to the difficulties and pain is the end result, which is very rewarding indeed. It will be rewarding for both you as a healer and for those who you will help to heal.
I have heard of horrific and tragic stories relating to the suffering that people on this earth have gone through and like many of you, I have often asked how Creator could place anyone in such situations. The truth of the matter is that many people who have lived such suffering and painful lives, or have survived horrific events go on to become wonderful healers on this earth, doing Creator’s work.
They start foundations, organizations, become therapists, doctors, authors of self-help and spiritual books, host talk shows. The list goes on.
So perhaps this was Creator’s plan all along and we should be thankful for many of the sufferings that have taken place and that we have to endure. Without them many people would not be who they are today – stronger, healthier, more forgiving, more helpful to others, more loving.
I once held on to a great amount of anger towards someone who had caused me pain for many years. One day a spiritual healer asked me to surround this person in light and send him love. I looked at the spiritual healer as if she were crazy! How DARE she ask me to do such a thing! How did she even think I would be capable of forgiving someone who had hurt me so bad?! I tried to remain open to what she was telling me, but honestly did not believe I could go through with it.
Then she said something to me that grabbed my attention – “By forgiving him and sending him loving thoughts, you will free yourself and he will no longer have such a great hold on you”. As I drove home after speaking with her, I thought of this sentence many times and just the idea of the freedom from the pain sounded so joyous and peaceful, yet far away at the same time.
About a week later I quietly sat down and asked Creator to help me do what needed to be done. I asked Creator to surround this man in his light, and then sent loving thoughts to him along with my forgiveness. Most importantly, I forgave myself for the choices I had made during those years, and took responsibility for them as well. The pain that I had been holding for so long in my heart slowly poured out as I wept tears of sadness and joy at the same time. That day I freed myself from the chains of resentment and anger, from the pain I had endured for so many years, and from the control of a man who would no longer control anything about me, or within me…. I had healed myself with help from Creator, and from the spiritual healer who with one sentence changed me, and healed me. I am thankful to her and to my experience, for it has made me who I am today.
The next time you think of the act of forgiveness, try not to only see the other person(s) as the only recipient. for you are the most important recipient involved, and you are well worth it. ~ Carl Ven ~
- Healers and Lightworkers: 5 Keys for Healing at a High Vibration (joannewellington.wordpress.com)
- Forgiving, Forgetting, & Boundary Setting (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
The good news is that whatever the life situation or whatever life throws at us, we can always turn it around once we decide to make it happen, my time now has now come to say bye bye for a while from blogging as I have said all I need to say for now. I only hope you decide to have a more happy and fulfilling life the way you deserve. Wishing you all a luscious, sensual, warm, loving, joyful and restful life ~A Path To
Enlightenment… god bless you and take care Joanne! xxx
Here are some last tips to orchestrate the turn around :
1) Believe it is possible to succeed
The only real danger is your belief that there is no solution for your problem –
that you are indeed helpless. You need to first remove this belief if you want
to make any progress. The fact is that all power to find that solution lies
within you – you are just not seeing the solution yet.
2) Your past is not equal to your future
Your future has got nothing to do with the past. By taking correct action in the
present moment, you can create anything you want. Learn from the past but do
not get stuck in it.
3) Practice Persistence
Success takes persistence. People who stick around longer without giving up open themselves to success more than people who give up easily when they fail a few times. Successful people never stop trying.
4) Do it better each day
While persistence is good, one needs to always look for better ways to solve the same problem. Get creative and see how you can solve the same problem in a better way, that you did not attempt yesterday.
5) There are no real failures
Each failure is a stepping stone to future success. Failures brings us much needed knowledge and experience that was lacking the last time around. If the correct lessons are learnt and applied from past experiences, success if not far away.
6) Consult with an expert
It is good to get some fresh ideas from other people who have experience and skill dealing with the challenges you are facing. For example, some relationships that you could not improve by yourself for over a decade can be turned around
in a couple of months with help from a skilled relationship coach. The same goes with other areas of life such as your career, health and finances.
7) Stay positive and appreciative of what you do have
Just because one area of your life is not working the way you want, do not fool yourself into believing that your entire life has gone haywire. When we are focused on what is lacking, we just tend not to pay enough attention to what is working. Practice genuine appreciation of the areas of your life that are doing great. Whatever the situation, each one of us has a lot to be grateful for, that some others may not be blessed with.
8) Know that this too shall pass
No problem remains forever. Most of us have faced problems that perhaps felt like the end of the world many years back, that hardly cross our mind at this time. With continued right effort, you will find the solution much sooner than you think.
- Feeling overwhelmed and helpless? (joannewellington.wordpress.com)
- Know The Power Of Letting Go (joannewellington.wordpress.com)
- Self-esteem is the set of beliefs that you have about yourself. (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)