“How much do you love your children? Because attracting the wrong people into their lives is on your head! meaning the type of friends and people you choose to be around you and your children”
Setting the right foundations from the very beginning, from the moment they start watching you is so important, and continuing throughout as they grow. It is an important part of our parenting involving making decisions making sure your children are not surrounded by the wrong type of people. I mean come on your not stupid you know what I mean if you have major selfish ‘me me me’ drama kings or queens around your children .. That is not taking responsibility is it! Having responsibilities and having duties to perform in keeping our kids safe at all times is one of our main priorities.
Sometimes we may wonder how to achieve a balance with these different demands they are conflicting for many people the first step to finding a balance is by holding a positive mind-set around them even through the bad, the bad is there for a reason it helps change our way of thinking for the better but that’s for us not our children, their time will come later on in life …You have to believe “(positive mind set)” in you in the people you associate with and around is the best start for your children.
In “Parenting with Love and Logic” by Fay and Cline, they describe a child who needs to know their parents love them by setting firm limits. Children push their parents to see if they are going to be consistent, because if they are, the child will feel safe and stable, but if not, they will actually feel insecure and anxious growing up. The authors liken this to a child leaning against a wall to see if it will hold up and not crumble; if they push against the wall and it crumbles, the child realizes that very little in life is stable and secure. At the same time, a wall is not going to push against the child either, it is not going to fall on top of them or hurt them, it just stands firm. Just as our children yearn for stability, we desire the same as adults.
“In all things that you can buy you will get what you paid for… In children, you will get back what values you put into them”.
Children, unfortunately do not come with “time-outs,” however, their needs must be met. In those times I have always managed to pick myself back up and continue to be the capable human being my children deserve and what they have helped make me today. Don’t worry that children never listen to you; WORRY that they are always WATCHING YOU ! And as your children get older If you have never been hated by your child at some point you have never been a parent. I wont lie I have made mistakes we all make mistakes. It is part of the learning process. Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new to better their life. Are you the kind of person who can learn from those mistakes?
Really think about the kinds of values you would want to install in your children. The brain of a child is like a little sponge, it will soak everything up, hold it for as long as it can and then it will wring itself back out. If you want what comes back out of their sponge to be clean for them, then guess what? You need to be completely accountable for your actions. If you are not ready for near total accountability, you are not ready to have children. I am a capable human beingbut there have certainly been times where I have literally curled up into a corner and had myself good, heart-wrenching sobs. In those moments I felt there was no possible way I could continue to go on doing what needed to be done but if you love and care for your children in a natural way you should do you will always end up were you are needed to end up.
Happiness and comfort’ is a choice Life is a choice. It is YOUR life and you are the start of your child’s/children’s life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness for you and them.
THINK!╰დ╮❤╭დ╯SEE! KNOW! ~J.W~
- Spread love not fear be the best you can be! (joannewellington.wordpress.com)
Have you ever prayed for something and wished for it and worked hard to get it but it just doesn’t come? We have all been in this place where we want something so badly we can almost taste it and it’s not here. We wonder ‘why?’ and often think, “Why me?” or “Why NOT me?” It is frustrating and emotional. We can feel angry and disappointed. There are expectations that if we envision what we want and do the work, then we should be able to have it right? That is, after all, what the law of attraction teaches us.
When you really want something and you are going after it with much attention, action and drive, it is challenging when the result doesn’t happen fast enough for you or when it doesn’t happen at all. You start to question everything including your resolve and the actions you are taking, if you are going in the right direction. It is not an easy place to be!
It has been said that prayers are answered in one of three ways and I quite agree:
1. Yes! You can have it!
2. No, it’s not time yet.
3. No, there is something better in store for you.
The first answer, “Yes” is usually quite easy to manage. It’s what you want and you are ready for it so you celebrate your success and are quite grateful. (You DO celebrate and count acknowledge your gratitude, don’t you?)
But what happens when the answer is “No”? Either we have to wait, which is something we humans generally don’t like to do or we are not getting it at all and we have to look for something else. Either way, we are frustrated!
When Time is the Problem
Most people have a hard time with ‘patience’. We don’t understand why we can’t just have what we want when we want it especially since we think we are ready for it.
This is a challenge because of our relationship with time. I admit I am not immune here. I don’t like to wait for things, although I have improved over the years. As we get older, our relationship with time changes; we understand it better – that doesn’t mean we like it; we just learn that the universe has its own timetable and things don’t always happen when we want them to.
I don’t know about you, but I still want what I want when I want it! I have learned, however, to recognize this feeling of pushing my will on the universe and accept ‘All good things in good time’. If it is meant for me to have it or enjoy it, I will; just not right now. There is nothing I need to do, nothing I need to change. I simply need to be with ‘what is’ and not worry or concern myself with things I do not yet have.
If this is, in fact, the answer to your goals, dreams and prayers, but it is not yet the right time, then the work to be done here is to focus on getting ready. There is something that you still need to learn, do, develop or plan in order to be prepared for what is coming. The universe is preparing; so should you.
When There is Something Else in Store
This response is the hardest to handle. It requires trust that the universe knows better than you what is best for you. It is forcing you to have faith that something better is coming and you might not have a clue as to what that is.
Trust. Have faith. Continue to do the work to prepare yourself for what you believe you want. And focus on what you do have control over – YOU. Focus your energies on being your best and on developing yourself. Enjoy the here and now and make the most of it as opposed to being so focused on the future and what might be coming.
“Waiting” is never easy. I never liked the word “patience” which is another word for “waiting”. Patience implies that you are not happy with the present but rather focused on and wishing for some ideal future.
When does later ever come? If you cannot be happy with what you have, how will you ever know happiness?
I struggle here as well. It is not easy to want something and work toward it while staying focused on what you have but that is exactly what you need to do – always. If not, then you lose the present moment and all its glory to our passion over a projected future that is a fantasy. You lose the present to an illusion of what might be ‘someday’. ‘Someday’ may never come.
Happiness, contentment and joy can only be experienced in the here and now; it cannot be projected into the future.
When the answer to your prayers is ‘yes’, enjoy it. Revel in it. Be grateful and appreciative of it. This means that your vision for yourself was in complete alignment with what was meant for you.
When you do not get what you want, enjoy what you have while at the same time continuing to work toward what you want you. Trust that you will enjoy all you desire – when it is time.
About the author
Julie Donley has worked in psychiatric nursing since 1993 and founded her company, Nurturing Your Success, in 2001 to assist people in achieving their goals and working through change. She is the author of several books including Does Change have to be so H.A.R.D.? and The Journey Called YOU: A Roadmap to Self-Discovery and Acceptance. Learn more at http://www.NurturingYourSuccess.com. Contact Julie at Julie@NurturingYourSuccess.com to have her speak at your next meeting or conference.
“Sara!” her mom yelled. “What are you doing? You know to do your chores right when you get home! And you’re late!””Coming, Mom!” Sara yelled, getting up and stomping towards the kitchen. “What?” she snapped as her mother gave her a stern look, annoyed.
“You’d better straighten up your attitude, young lady,” her mom warned, “or you’ll be grounded.”
“Whatever.” Sara began to throw around the dishes in the sink, trying to make as much noise as she possibly could. A plate cracked and cut her hand. Sara cursed.
“Sara!” her mom exclaimed. “How dare you use that language! Go to your room!”
“No!” Sara yelled, throwing down the towel she was using to wipe the blood off her hand.
“Do you want to say ‘no’ one more time and see what happens?” her mom asked. She looked furious.
“Sure,” Sara said sarcastically. “No.”
“How dare you!” Her mother slapped her.
Sara shrank back, staring incredulously at her mom. She had never hit Sara before.
“I HATE YOU!” Sara screamed before running out of the house.
“Sara, get back here!” her mom yelled, running after her.
“Leave me alone!” Sara screamed, running across the street. “I HATE YOU!” she screamed again.
She continued running until she heard the sound of screeching tires and a scream. She turned around, hoping that it wouldn’t be what she thought it would be….
People were crowding around Sara’s mother, who was laying in the middle of the street, looking broken, bloody.
“NOOOO!” Sara screamed, running over and pushing through everyone to kneel by her mom. “Oh no, oh no….”
Her mom wasn’t moving or breathing. She was gone. Sara tipped back her head and wailed to the sky, sobbing so hard it hurt.
She couldn’t believe the last words she had spoken to her mother were “I hate you”.
I was doing some thinking today about Friendship and what all it means and implies, it’s obligations and so on. The most important thing to remember is… Always appreciate the friends that you have. A fight may come and go very easily, but a friendship could last forever. For every second spent in anger, a minute of happiness is wasted. Most people walk in and out of your life. But only true friends leave footprints in your heart.
When we look back on our younger years, we will remember the people who went to school with us, the people who made us laugh, the people who hung out with us when nobody else would, and the people who made our lives much better simply by being a part of it. Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget. The language of friendship is not in words but in their meanings.
True real friendships are hard to come by. That is why you need to know the meanings and signs of a true real friendship. It is extremely important to know your true real friends. As you read on below, try and picture your ‘true real friends’ and try and decide whether are they as true and as real as you think they are.
Everyone has friends and need friends. People that we interact with everyday in school, at work, in the same apartment, in the metro,at the gym, the list goes on. But I always believe in quality, not quantity. I would rather have a few true friends than a hundred of regular friends (like on Facebook). Everyone is different and have different perspectives on true friendships but there are some fundamentals for a true friendship that you can’t overlook.
Firstly, this person or true friend needs to give you a huge sense of trust. You need to see this person and believe, “I trust them and want to share everything with this person.” Can you trust them with your secrets? Trust them with your girlfriend or boyfriend? Trust them with your problems or embarrassing moments? These are all things to take note of. It is not easy to feel this way about someone but I have found such friends, and I believe that it is possible for you to find a true friend you can call your own.
Secondly, imagine it is 3 AM in the morning. You met with something unfortunate, let’s say your car broke down. You think of all the ‘friends’ that you have and you slowly make a note of who will actually help you. Finally you settled on someone who might help and called him or her. What would his or her response be? Irritation? Frustration? Or someone who will sacrifice their sleep to get out of bed to either pick you up or assist you by giving you a list of numbers which you can get for help. Let’s say it’s something serious. You really really need someone to talk to in the middle of the night, you’re so desperate you need someone to talk to. Will your ‘friend’ be that someone? A true friend would, no matter how tired they are.
Another sign would be that you will never get tired of a true friend’s company. And vice versa. You all can remain silent and will not feel awkward about it. It sounds very much like a fairy tale but it is true. They will never ever judge you as well. No matter what you did, that person would be there beside you, and correct you if you are really in the wrong, but he or she will never judge you and gossip about you behind your back. A true friend loves without condition and will not expect anything in return.
Of course this gets a little complicated with the opposite sex. It is a fact that when a male and a female gets closer, one of them is bound to start wondering if things can be developed further. The trouble comes in when only one of them is feeling this way. For example, the other party might start expecting to be loved back or might expect you to feel the same way about them. Attraction is tricky business. Therefore, this is one thing that one must be aware of, so that you will know how to handle it when it comes.
True real friends double your happiness and half your burdens. Basically how you would like a true real friend to be, you should be like this to your true friends. Trust, forgiveness,bonding and accountability are some ingredients of a true friend. True friendships are hard to come by. And what’s more, life is short. So treasure these friends if you have already have them. If you don’t continue to search, because once you have them, life becomes so much easier to live, no matter what happens. I have been through pretty rough patches and I dare say, without my friends I would not have made it.
Friendships need lots of energy and patience to maintain them. Not to mention time too. When your friend needs you, sometimes when things are not going too well on your side, it is often so easy to turn a deaf ear to their pleas. It is especially during these times, that you must find the strength in you to help your friend. And it is during these times that your friendship will be forged and made stronger.
And you must always be happy for their successes, even when things are not going too well on your side. It might be hard to do for some people but it is something that you need to learn. Think about all the sacrifices your friend has made for you and all the times when he or she was happy for you despite his or her own troubles.
Think about all the happy times you all enjoyed and the sad, rough times you all went through together. That should give you sufficient patience to actually be a true friend for them. Remember, true friends are the next best thing to family. They will always be your pillar of support no matter what. Always.
Here I would like to narrate a short story regarding the need of friendship and true friends..
My mother used to ask me what is the most important part of the body. Through the years I would take a guess at what I thought was the correct answer. When I was younger, I thought sound was very important to us as humans, so I said, “My ears, Mommy.”
She said, “No. Many people are deaf. But you keep thinking about it and I will ask you again soon.”
Several years passed before she asked me again. Since making my first attempt, I had contemplated the correct answer. So this time I told her, “Mommy, sight is very important to everybody, so it must be our eyes.”
She looked at me and told me, “You are learning fast, but the answer is not correct because there are many people who are blind.”
Stumped again, I continued my quest for knowledge and over the years, Mother asked me a couple more times and always her answer was, “No. But you are getting smarter every year, my child.”
Then last year, my Grandpa died. Everybody was hurt. Everybody was crying. Even my father cried. I remember that especially because it was only the second time I saw him cry. My Mom looked at me when it was our turn to say our final goodbye to Grandpa. She asked me, “Do you know the most important body part yet, my dear?”
I was shocked when she asked me this now. I always thought this was a game between her and me. She saw the confusion on my face and told me, “This question is very important. It shows that you have really lived in our life. For every body part you gave me in the past, I have told you were wrong and I have given you an example why. But today is the day you need to learn this important lesson.”
She looked down at me as only a mother can. I saw her eyes well up with tears. She said, “My dear, the most important body part is your shoulder.”
I asked, “Is it because it holds up my head?”
She replied, “No, it is because it can hold the head of a friend or a loved one when they cry. Everybody needs a shoulder to cry on sometime in life, my dear. I only hope that you have enough love and friends that you will always have a shoulder to cry on when you need it.”
That is the wonderful thing about friendship-you always feel loved and cared about. Friendship is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations.
The most beautiful discovery friends can make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.
Prof.Bhushan Manchanda,MCMI – About the Author:
MA (English),PGDMM,MBA (Faculty of Management Studies,University of Delhi,India), Management Education,Training & Soft Skills Consultant. Over 35 years Industry,Education and Training experience.
Associate Professor and Head,Department of Management Studies, Jagannath International Management School(affiliated to GGS Indraprastha University,New Delhi,India)
While forgiveness is a noble act, expressing true forgiveness is empowering because it helps us to stop feeling like victims and to dispel our own suffering at having been wronged. Our levels of anger and hostility decreases while our capacity to love increases. We are better able to control our anger and we have an enhanced capacity to trust. We are freed from the control of past events, which can help us to stop repeating negative behavior. Both our physical and mental health improves. Though many people feel forgiveness is something that must be asked for or earned by another, forgiveness is actually a gift you give to yourself…..
- Forgiveness: Is Holding On To Anger Holding You Back? (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
- Forgiveness – All in all~The Path To Healing & Spiritual Growth ~ (joannewellington.wordpress.com)