I was doing some thinking today about Friendship and what all it means and implies, it’s obligations and so on. The most important thing to remember is… Always appreciate the friends that you have. A fight may come and go very easily, but a friendship could last forever. For every second spent in anger, a minute of happiness is wasted. Most people walk in and out of your life. But only true friends leave footprints in your heart.
When we look back on our younger years, we will remember the people who went to school with us, the people who made us laugh, the people who hung out with us when nobody else would, and the people who made our lives much better simply by being a part of it. Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget. The language of friendship is not in words but in their meanings.
True real friendships are hard to come by. That is why you need to know the meanings and signs of a true real friendship. It is extremely important to know your true real friends. As you read on below, try and picture your ‘true real friends’ and try and decide whether are they as true and as real as you think they are.
Everyone has friends and need friends. People that we interact with everyday in school, at work, in the same apartment, in the metro,at the gym, the list goes on. But I always believe in quality, not quantity. I would rather have a few true friends than a hundred of regular friends (like on Facebook). Everyone is different and have different perspectives on true friendships but there are some fundamentals for a true friendship that you can’t overlook.
Firstly, this person or true friend needs to give you a huge sense of trust. You need to see this person and believe, “I trust them and want to share everything with this person.” Can you trust them with your secrets? Trust them with your girlfriend or boyfriend? Trust them with your problems or embarrassing moments? These are all things to take note of. It is not easy to feel this way about someone but I have found such friends, and I believe that it is possible for you to find a true friend you can call your own.
Secondly, imagine it is 3 AM in the morning. You met with something unfortunate, let’s say your car broke down. You think of all the ‘friends’ that you have and you slowly make a note of who will actually help you. Finally you settled on someone who might help and called him or her. What would his or her response be? Irritation? Frustration? Or someone who will sacrifice their sleep to get out of bed to either pick you up or assist you by giving you a list of numbers which you can get for help. Let’s say it’s something serious. You really really need someone to talk to in the middle of the night, you’re so desperate you need someone to talk to. Will your ‘friend’ be that someone? A true friend would, no matter how tired they are.
Another sign would be that you will never get tired of a true friend’s company. And vice versa. You all can remain silent and will not feel awkward about it. It sounds very much like a fairy tale but it is true. They will never ever judge you as well. No matter what you did, that person would be there beside you, and correct you if you are really in the wrong, but he or she will never judge you and gossip about you behind your back. A true friend loves without condition and will not expect anything in return.
Of course this gets a little complicated with the opposite sex. It is a fact that when a male and a female gets closer, one of them is bound to start wondering if things can be developed further. The trouble comes in when only one of them is feeling this way. For example, the other party might start expecting to be loved back or might expect you to feel the same way about them. Attraction is tricky business. Therefore, this is one thing that one must be aware of, so that you will know how to handle it when it comes.
True real friends double your happiness and half your burdens. Basically how you would like a true real friend to be, you should be like this to your true friends. Trust, forgiveness,bonding and accountability are some ingredients of a true friend. True friendships are hard to come by. And what’s more, life is short. So treasure these friends if you have already have them. If you don’t continue to search, because once you have them, life becomes so much easier to live, no matter what happens. I have been through pretty rough patches and I dare say, without my friends I would not have made it.
Friendships need lots of energy and patience to maintain them. Not to mention time too. When your friend needs you, sometimes when things are not going too well on your side, it is often so easy to turn a deaf ear to their pleas. It is especially during these times, that you must find the strength in you to help your friend. And it is during these times that your friendship will be forged and made stronger.
And you must always be happy for their successes, even when things are not going too well on your side. It might be hard to do for some people but it is something that you need to learn. Think about all the sacrifices your friend has made for you and all the times when he or she was happy for you despite his or her own troubles.
Think about all the happy times you all enjoyed and the sad, rough times you all went through together. That should give you sufficient patience to actually be a true friend for them. Remember, true friends are the next best thing to family. They will always be your pillar of support no matter what. Always.
Here I would like to narrate a short story regarding the need of friendship and true friends..
My mother used to ask me what is the most important part of the body. Through the years I would take a guess at what I thought was the correct answer. When I was younger, I thought sound was very important to us as humans, so I said, “My ears, Mommy.”
She said, “No. Many people are deaf. But you keep thinking about it and I will ask you again soon.”
Several years passed before she asked me again. Since making my first attempt, I had contemplated the correct answer. So this time I told her, “Mommy, sight is very important to everybody, so it must be our eyes.”
She looked at me and told me, “You are learning fast, but the answer is not correct because there are many people who are blind.”
Stumped again, I continued my quest for knowledge and over the years, Mother asked me a couple more times and always her answer was, “No. But you are getting smarter every year, my child.”
Then last year, my Grandpa died. Everybody was hurt. Everybody was crying. Even my father cried. I remember that especially because it was only the second time I saw him cry. My Mom looked at me when it was our turn to say our final goodbye to Grandpa. She asked me, “Do you know the most important body part yet, my dear?”
I was shocked when she asked me this now. I always thought this was a game between her and me. She saw the confusion on my face and told me, “This question is very important. It shows that you have really lived in our life. For every body part you gave me in the past, I have told you were wrong and I have given you an example why. But today is the day you need to learn this important lesson.”
She looked down at me as only a mother can. I saw her eyes well up with tears. She said, “My dear, the most important body part is your shoulder.”
I asked, “Is it because it holds up my head?”
She replied, “No, it is because it can hold the head of a friend or a loved one when they cry. Everybody needs a shoulder to cry on sometime in life, my dear. I only hope that you have enough love and friends that you will always have a shoulder to cry on when you need it.”
That is the wonderful thing about friendship-you always feel loved and cared about. Friendship is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations.
The most beautiful discovery friends can make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.
Prof.Bhushan Manchanda,MCMI – About the Author:
MA (English),PGDMM,MBA (Faculty of Management Studies,University of Delhi,India), Management Education,Training & Soft Skills Consultant. Over 35 years Industry,Education and Training experience.
Associate Professor and Head,Department of Management Studies, Jagannath International Management School(affiliated to GGS Indraprastha University,New Delhi,India)
There is a little block on Facebook that one fills in to let others know what you are doing. Everyone who has a Facebook account will know exactly what I am referring to. At the moment it asks; “What are you thinking about?” Yesterday I answered the question by writing: “Well only positive stuff! I am successfully keeping any negative thoughts out! Although there are a few yapping at the door, trying to get in!”
The fact that we can control our thoughts still remains one of my greatest revelations in this entire personal growth endeavour. For many people, thinking positively is a luxury, but really it is something we shouldn’t live without! So in actual fact it really is a necessity. I mean many people get through life with very little positive thinking at all, but the question is do they enjoy that life? I would imagine that they don’t, well not as much as they could anyway. People who do not concentrate on the positive things in life, have less fun than people who do! We all want to enjoy life more, don’t we?
Well here’s the solution; take the trouble and the time to direct your thoughts in a positive direction. It might seem tedious to start doing this at first…but make it a habit! As with everything in life, practice makes perfect! We’ve all seen cartoons of a character with a little angel sitting on one of his shoulders and a little devil sitting on the other. If the character gives in to the little devil that is making negative, evil suggestions he inevitably goes off and does some mischief. Similarly, if the little angel wins the battle of the will, the character goes of and performs a good deed. Although this is usually just a bit of fun entertainment, there is a lot of truth to the scene. We are constantly having to make mental choices, whether we realize it or not
As I mentioned in the Facebook quote, there are little negative thoughts yapping at the door of our minds all the time, and it is our job to keep them out. We have things ‘thrown’ at us on a moment-by-moment basis. We could easily chose to construe many of them as negative. It’s at that very moment that we must choose to think positively! Of course that is sometimes easier said than done, especially if you feel that you have a reason to be miserable or you have some other baggage, bondage or Life Sentence that has pre-programmed you to think in a negative way in this situation automatically. This of course is the very heart of my recently published book; “Freeing Your Mind”. In the book I identify all sorts of things that direct your thinking into a negative path. It’s things that give the red little imaginary devil sitting on your shoulder fuel to taunt you with. Yes, thinking positively is a luxury, but as earlier stated I venture to suggest that it’s a luxury that we can’t do without. In the next few blog articles that I will be submitting, I will address some of these bondages that make us open up the door to those yapping little negative thoughts. We have to keep that door shut! In fact we need deal with many issues that are causing the yapping, and causing the negative thoughts to surface more regularly. To stay with the metaphor, we need to reinforce that door so well that we can’t even hear most of the yapping and the little that we do we can easily ignore.
The problem is this does not happen by itself. It needs work, it needs attention, it needs you to take control of your thinking.
I feel like pleading with you, if you have not already done so, to make a conscious decision today! Decide that you will take control of you thinking from this moment on. Decide that from now on you will do whatever it takes to keep any negativism at bay. Do this and stick to it and you will find that your life will take on far a more positive hue. You will be far happier and have much more fun. In time you will have a whole new different life. If you would like to learn more about this, and harness the power of positive thinking I hope that you will join me and countless others by staying tuned in, and by following my blog in future.
For all the Facebook fans, you are also welcome to connect to my facebook page.
I leave you with this quote: “The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.” Unknown
Roy Stuart Heeley – About the Author:
We can not control what others say or do to us, if we know whispers of gossip are being spread, the truth will find her way , if we are tolerant enough , her Good Grace will find her way to loving hearts ……..Remember folks if they are gossiping to you, they are gossiping about you ! turn your ears off from gossip and open your hearts to the Truth.