Monthly Archives: November 2011
While forgiveness is a noble act, expressing true forgiveness is empowering because it helps us to stop feeling like victims and to dispel our own suffering at having been wronged. Our levels of anger and hostility decreases while our capacity to love increases. We are better able to control our anger and we have an enhanced capacity to trust. We are freed from the control of past events, which can help us to stop repeating negative behavior. Both our physical and mental health improves. Though many people feel forgiveness is something that must be asked for or earned by another, forgiveness is actually a gift you give to yourself…..
- Forgiveness: Is Holding On To Anger Holding You Back? (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
- Forgiveness – All in all~The Path To Healing & Spiritual Growth ~ (joannewellington.wordpress.com)
Thinking a lot about this as so many people are going through or have recently been through this, its a hard time for these people, I remember well when my marriage ended after 14 years, thinking your on the right track, then bang, they walk out the door, leaving this trail of heart ache and devastation not only to you, but to family and friends, everyone is affected when this happens. I remember times of being suicidal, to the point where I had a councillor come to my home each week, feeling like no one else will make you happy, the fears that come with starting that new journey are both daunting and scary and if your life me and have children, there are those questions, will they like my children, will they love my children, will my children like and love that person so many things running around ones head, not wanting to move on, hoping and praying they come back, begging for them to come back, willing to change as a person to get that person back……………………………..
So where do we start when this happens, first thing I learnt was I had to look at why, was I really happy with him anyway……………. no, was the relationship the best in the world…………………….. no, what was it that I was so scared of, what was I trying to hold on too, well sometimes something is better than nothing, there is a comfort zone, knowing who you are with, knowing where you stand even when your not totally happy its better than the alternative.
The amount of people that I have asking for readings asking if they will come back, wont find anyone else, that’s it now no more, cant do this again, why has this happened, lots and lots of questions running around ones head, answers needed to help.
If there is one thing I have learnt, that people come in our lives for a reason, sometimes it is to help each other, sometimes to experience love, sometimes to just learn lessons, no matter what there is always something good to take from the relationship and equally there is something to learn from it. the way I got through my divorce was to really look at the whole thing, I was never truly happy, but not happy to leave myself, so really he did me a favour, at the time though had anyone said that I could not have even comprehended that to be the case, I needed to come to that conclusion myself. so then I looked at what I could learn, ok so I have learnt to not just go into a relationship because I care, because they make me feel good at that time, I have learnt that I will only accept the best, and not take second best, I have learnt, that if a relationship ends, that’s how it is, its meant to be, what is more important is the healing phase, finding yourself again like I had too, no point trying to force someone to be with you, is that really going to make a good happy relationship later………………. I think not
We cant change the past, but we can the future, so what can we bring forward into a new relationship, simply ourselves, its not good carrying all those scars, holding on to what other people have done to you in the past, and no relationship will work when you do that, again its about healing, one persons loss is another ones gain.
Look at what your scared of, what is so scary about a new relationship, for me it was about someone accepting and loving me for me, the rejection dating can bring etc, there is that saying feel the fear and do it anyway. Self love is important, if you don’t love you, how can someone else truly love you.
I guess what I am trying to say is, if I can get over a 14 year marriage, stay friends with him, and go on my own journey, and find love again, and its not a love like I had in the past, it is much better than that, the relationship is different and stronger, I am happier now than I have been in my whole life, so when I look back was it really so wrong my ex husband left me for someone else?? Hell no she got my left over’s where as I started a new life.
What will be will be, if it was a mistake that person will come back to you, let them come back, but don’t put your life on hold, get out there, heal, be happy, and if that person doesn’t come back, trust me and believe me when I say to you, that you will find a greater love, and happiness than what you thought you could ever experience. I gave myself a time limit, when that clock struck midnight on new years eve, that was it for me, no more tears, no more begging, no more nothing it was going to be about me and my children, taking control is important too x
A Few things to ponder on
Is he/ she really giving you what you want and need?
Was the relationship really a happy one?
What are you actuall missing by not being in the relationship?
What are you truly scared of now?
What have you learnt from this relationship, that you can take forward in a positive way in a new relationship?
Are you ready for a new relationship?
If so what are you doing about it, sitting at home waiting wont make it happen you have to work at it, getting out and about, being on line dating sites etc?
Is there a pattern to your relationships that keep failing, is it the type of person? is there something you have not healed from?
Look at what you really want need and desreve
Is that person ticking all the boxes?
Are you paying attention to warning signs but ignoring them?
Have you forgiven the people that have hurt you in the past so that you can truly move on?
Do you love yourself enough, to be able to let another person love you?
Well that is my ramble for today; I hope it helps even if it is just one person
Lots of love, and healing to all those going through a hard time right now xx
Written by Anne Marie Psychic-Medium
- How to deal with your break up after many years “appropriately!!!” (joannewellington.wordpress.com)
Have you ever noticed after being around someone that you feel totally emotionally and physically drained? Have you ever wondered what in the world happened? The answer is you were with a Spiritual Vampire.
A Spiritual Vampire is not like vampires in stories and movies that drain your blood; they drain your energy. These attacks are very real and happen on a daily basis. Most of us go through life not realizing that we are being drained of our spiritual and physical energy.
Spiritual vampirism is real and flourishing more than ever in today’s world. I use the term spiritual vampire because they are tapping into your spirit. Because they are consumers of energy rather than blood, their own inadequate energy causes them to tap into an unsuspecting person (host) energy system. The spiritual vampire feels a rush and exhilaration after tapping into the energy source whereas the victim feels mentally depleted and even physically drained. Constant attack can cause the energy system to break down and even cause physical illness.
Read more >>> Spiritual Vampires
How can we not judge when someone does an act that is harmful to us in a harmful manner ? If someone is doing a harmful act, should we just accept the harm saying that it is just the maturity level of the person? If there is no right or wrong, then are we not letting people justify their wrong doings? Without judging how can move away from something unpleasant?
Can we look deeper within ourselves? Can we see that many times our judgements happen due to our
vested interest, when a personal desire goes unfulfilled? If the very same situation would had happened to someone else, then perhaps we may not have judged it the way we did. However when the mind experiences a personal loss, then it is quick to judge, have you noticed this? Many times we judge the acts of others, yet when the same act is committed by us, we are completely accepting of ourselves. This happens to the best of us – this is ego and attachment at play.
Judgement divides the world into two, into that which is acceptable and that which is not. Once the world is divided, conflict is inevitable. When the mind judges something as wrong or bad, it becomes agitated, it moves off from it’s center. The mental agitation does not help in making the situation we are dealing with better. When in judgement, instead of seeking for a “solution”, our mind starts contributing to the “problem” at hand. And then, repeated, strong mental agitations programs our subconscious mind into believing that these unwanted situations is actually what we desire, and thus more undesirable situations begin to manifest in our lives.
Say you have a light dimmer with 5 levels, 1 being the lowest (dark) and 5 being complete brightness. To judge the dimmer would be to keep our minds extremely blissful when the dimmer is at level 5, being happy when it is at level 4, neutral at level 3, being unhappy with the dimmer when it is at level 2, and then becoming completely upset with it when it is at level 1 (dark). And then if you prefer darkness instead of light, you do the same thing, just that your emotions will be in reverse – you would be upset when the dimmer is at level 5, and happy when it is level 1. In reality, why don’t we judge the dimmer? Could it be because we know that it is the nature of the dimmer to give different amount of light at different levels? In the same way, could it be possible that different people give out different amounts of “light” depending on their present state of mind and their level of spiritual/psychological evolution?
Non judgement does not mean we let people run all over us and not take any necessary steps to move towards making the situation better. Indeed take appropriate action Be aware of where the road leads Choose intelligence. Not every decision we make is a moral choice. Sometimes its just a matter of choosing between stupidity and intelligence, but detach your mind from it, which is the cause for your negativity. To not judge is to see the act of the other and experience no resistance in our mind. It does not mean we accept the act, neither does it mean we reject the act. It is choiceless, awareness of the act. It is seeing things as they are, without the veil of our beliefs, prejudices, and our attachments. In pure awareness, there is no mental agitation, and you get energy to move towards creating an improved situation for yourself. While our judgement makes the undesirable behaviour persist, our awareness changes the very energy, the very karma of the situation In some cases letting go is the right choice and as we all know every situation is different life is what it is and what we ourselves make it.. we are who we are we are where we are because of our personal life’s journeys And what we need to learn from it.
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- The Inner Dialogue (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)