Daily Archives: 07/09/2011

Ending A Narcissistic Relationship – Difficult But Necessary

When a normal relationship comes to an end it is one of the hardest things we  have to do.  But ending a narcissistic  relationship is twice as hard and can even be downright nasty. If you are  the one ending the relationship then it’s a sure sign you are healthier than you  think.  Now you just have to find a way to stay strong.

verbal-abuseYou might be ending the relationship over things that don’t seem important  but deep down you know they are insurmountable. The fact is, in a narcissistic  relationship, you are not getting your  love returned.

If you are dumped by a narcissist it will probably be quick and heartless.  You will be left on your own to  sort out what went wrong, just like in any breakup, but in this type of relationship it will be even  more confusing.  The narcissist will probably already have someone else  lined up before they leave you. In fact narcissists are sometimes serial  cheaters and they don’t have any remorse whatsoever.   If this is the  case then you should feel good about the breakup.  If you get away from  this person you will no longer be subjected to

Your decision is a little harder if you are trying to end this destructive  relationship over something that might seem small to others.  You can end  up doubting your decision, especially during the initial stages of the breakup  when you are lonely and thinking you would rather be with this person than be  alone no matter what the problems are.  You begin to believe the  manipulation you have been subjected to in the narcissistic relationship.

You think if you just try harder you can make him/her love you.    You must get this out of your mind.  The narcissist is incapable of loving  anyone but themselves.

It is important not only to stay strong when you are ending a narcissistic  relationship.  It is also important to get advice from someone who has been  there or seek out professional counseling.   This is a hard  relationship to recover from because the narcissist has very skillfully  brainwashed you into thinking everything is your fault.  They have their  hooks in you and it is hard to break free.

You need to stay focused on why you are breaking up.  You no longer want  to be put down or subjected to rages or made to feel you are unworthy of this  person.   You want a mutually loving relationship.   And  even though you have been conned into thinking you don’t – you DO deserve a healthy relationship.

The fact is that even if your partner has not cheated you have been abused in  a very subtle way.  The narcissist has controlled you and lowered your  self-esteem.  You may not even be aware of this right now but in time you  will start to heal and realize what a bad situation you have been involved  in.

You are probably ending this relationship either because your partner cheated  on you, physically or verbally abused you or was just never there for  you.   Any of those reasons are good reasons to end this  relationship.

Stay strong by remembering when you needed your partner’s emotional support  and he/she just didn’t care.  You’ve probably tried talking with your  partner many times about how you felt and he/she still didn’t care.  That  will never change.  Your desire for a partner who will have empathy for you  is what will keep you strong.  And, the narcissist is not capable of  feeling anything for you.

This might be the hardest thing to understand.  The narcissist cannot  meet your needs for reciprocal love.  Period.  Focus your energies on  someone who is deserving of your love.

Rene  Carlton –    About the Author:

Click the link for more information on the narcissistic  relationship

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