Daily Archives: July 17, 2011
Many people upon learning the law of attraction, get excited and start putting additional effort in giving to others, in the hope that in giving to others, they will get back what they want from them. Some of these people get disappointed that in spite of giving their 100%…, they are not getting from the universe what they want, and wonder why. Some quickly jump into the conclusion that law of attraction does not work. The fact is that spiritual laws always work, however it is important that knowledge is applied correctly. Knowledge put to action in the wrong way, or in the wrong context does not work.
In order to get what we want from others, it is important that we give others what they want, not what we think they need, and not what we want to give. A farmer owns a dog and a cow. If he feeds grass to the dog and dog-food to the cow, both animals will be unhappy and hungry, despite the effort put forth by the farmer. Although this may sound funny, simple, and obvious, this is exactly what we tend to do, as in various complex situations, we may not really know what they other person wants, and thus make wrong assumptions about it and put forth unwanted effort in the wrong place.
Practical examples of not giving people what they want:
There are two sets of emotional needs in romantic relationships:
Caring, Understanding, Respect, Devotion, Validation and Reassurance.
Trust, Acceptance, Appreciation, Admiration, Approval and Encouragement.
All of the above emotional needs are forms of love. Yet, just calling all of them love is oversimplification of our emotional needs. Although every one has the need for all these forms of love, research has shown that most women primarily need to receive the kinds of love listed under “Set 1” from their partners, before they can appreciate the kind of love under “Set 2”. In contrast to that, most men primarily need to receive the love under “Set 2” before they can appreciate the kind of love listed under “Set 1”. Unknowingly however, both men and women tend to give to their partners what they would personally need, instead of giving what their partners need. This is why many people think they are giving a lot to the relationship. Yet, both partners remain unfulfilled, as they are not giving what their partners want.
Say you are an employer and want to hire the brightest candidate for the job. You interview 30 candidates and then select the one candidate who met your criteria the best. Excited upon finding such a brilliant candidate, you offer him salary and benefits that are higher than you originally budgeted for. Yet, what the candidate really wants is not to work in the corporate world long term, but instead start his own business soon. In spite of you giving your 100% as an employer, you cannot fulfill the candidates needs. No matter what you do from your end, since the other person is motivated by contrary desires, what you give is not of value to him. You would have been better of to offer the job to another candidate, who although may not be academically perfect as the first candidate, actually wants a long term career in the corporate world and not start his own business soon.
You are hired as a software tester. Instead of working as a tester, you put rigorous effort as a software programmer, as you are not really interested in testing. Indeed, you may be working very hard, but not towards the reason you were hired, and thus your employer is not likely to be satisfied.
You prepare a beautiful three course non-vegetarian meal, putting lot of effort. It is the most wonderful tasting meal. Only problem – the guests that came to dinner are all vegetarians. Despite all your effort, the guests could not appreciate the value of the work you put into making the delicious meal.
Thus, in order to get what you want, it is very important to know what the other person needs, and give that. A person gets fulfilled only upon getting what he wants, and not upon receiving something else. Only in fulfilling other’s needs is it likely that they will work towards fulfilling our needs. It is important to realize that in some cases, the other person may not really want anything that we have to offer, or we may not want to give what they need. In this case, it is better to find other people who will be very fulfilled by what we have to offer, so that they in turn can fulfill us.
To become more positive, surround yourself with positivity energy and avoid environments with lower energies.
Have you ever noticed that when you enter a room with a bunch of people, you can instantly feel the energy of the environment? Whether the energy is positive or negative, your mood is very likely to get influence…d by it. Each and every interaction we have with the outside world influences our mind. The mind turns relatively negative when in the midst of negative energy, and it turns relatively positive when in the midst of positive energy.
If you want to maintain a positive mind, the smart thing to do is to thus to exercise discretion, to the extent possible, as to what kind of energy you expose your mind to. Consciously choose situations that make you happy, and avoid situations that bring your energy down. The following are some of the areas where we can make conscious positive choices as opposed to blindly subjecting ourselves to negative energy:
Seek people who energize you. These people are happy and positive themselves. They are full of joy, and perceive the world to be a wonderful place full of possibilities. To the extent possible, avoid people who drain your energy. These people are forever stuck in the negative. They are chronic complainers, who see themselves as perfect, and just that the world needs to change to suit their own likes and dislikes. This does not mean that negative people do not deserve our love – in fact they need it more than positive people. What this means is that until the time we become very positive ourselves, it is best to avoid negative influences. After reaching a certain level in your spiritual growth, you will find that you have more mental immunity towards negative energy. When that time comes, you can become a source of strength to others.
Avoid all programs that bring your energy down. This means it is best to mostly stop watching the news. Negative news sells more then positive news, and thus the news is generally fully of negative energy. Whatever the bad news, it has already happened, and we can do nothing about it. By not choosing to participate in watching it, we stop being innocent transmitters of the negative energy. If you must watch TV, consciously choose inspirational and motivational programs. Completely avoiding TV is not a bad idea either. It will free up precious time for things that will help you grow as a person. Similarly, while selecting movies to watch, it is best to avoid movies that are tragic and violent. Instead, watch happy, funny and Inspirational movies that uplifts your spirit.
Again it is best to avoid reading online and offline news regularly. Even reading up on gossip does not help a person become positive. Gossip is simply judgement passed on someone else’s life. It is better to look at our own self and see how we can improve instead. Even on facebook, keep a watch for people who regularly post negative content. They are only showing us the quality of their own minds, and the more we expose ourselves to them, the more we are likely to become like them.
Just as the quality of your physical health is determined to the quality of the foods you take in, the quality of the mental health is determined by the energy of the environments you expose yourself to. The more discretion you exercise in consciously choosing positive environments, the more positive you will become.
- The Magnetic, Attracting, Power of the Mind (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
- The Inner Dialogue (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
- Warding Off Negative Influences – How To Keep Your Aura Strong (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
- The Powers of a Positive Mental Attitude (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
- Psychic Self-Defense – Easy Ways To Brighten Your Spiritual Light (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
- Thought Power – Your Thoughts Create Your Reality (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
- Taking things for granted ~ (joannewellington.wordpress.com)
- Self-Improvement ~Two Basic Principles. (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)