~Rather than react negatively to people and events, we can include them and mould with them. Through acceptance, our consciousness jumps to another level of perception (understanding) and we realize that what we might have previously regarded as a problem can, if handled correctly, be a means to develop our strengths and remove our weaknesses. Whether a situation is a problem or a gift depends on our perception. The choice is ours.–
Monthly Archives: July 2011
There are many articles and pieces of information about personal growth and the self image, most of which help the reader to push forward in life and make important changes if they can. Many times however changes are only temporary and we very quickly resort to our old ways. One thing I have learned about personal growth is it is sometimes difficult to take on board all the information that is available, partly because of the sheer quantity of it and partly because it’s big business and there always seems to be a new way of doing something. It’s hard to keep abreast of the latest product or idea.
I am writing this article to introduce you to some beneficial ideas that I have learned about personal growth and in particular the self image over the last ten years or so. I have put these ideas into practice and have had huge successes, although initially I found it hard going. I hope you benefit too.
All your actions, feelings and emotions are consistent with your self image. By the way your self image was forced upon you when you were a child. The environment and people you grew up with formed the image of yourself while you were very small and impressionable. Of course you did have some say in the matter as you grew older but your basic self image was formed when you were very young. This means of course you are not responsible for any feelings and beliefs you now have since you didn’t intentionally create them! However the good news is, now that you are an adult, you can redesign the image of yourself and therefore your life, exactly the way you want it!
So then, the self image can be changed. Positive thinking doesn’t help because it is external. If you change your self image everything else has to change too. Your whole life has to be consistent with your new image. In each person there is a ‘life instinct.’ We all want more life, more health, more happiness and success. In Maxwell Maltz book ‘Psycho-Cybernetics’ he describes this life instinct as a ‘creative mechanism’ which if used correctly becomes a ‘success mechanism.’ This mechanism must have goals to work on. These goals are of course mental images created by your imagination. Your number one goal should be your self image. He says ” Our self image prescribes the limits for the accomplishment of any particular goal. It prescribes the area of the possible.” So then you must visualise and act out new action patterns. You must act as if you are wealthy, successful and the person you want to be.
Most people unfortunately still are unable to put the previous paragraph into practice – I was one of them – and achieve what they want out of life therefore the following information is for them.
Your self image is created in two ways. Both are crucial to your success. The first is A BELIEF IN YOUR ABILITIES. This part of your image can be changed easily by rational thought. If you are not able to do something then go out and learn how to do it. This new confidence will help you achieve your goals. You can do or learn absolutely anything to be the sort of person you want to be. Since this part of your self image needs you to actually get up and learn a new skill or become more knowledgeable about a particular topic, to help you become the person you want to be, I don’t want to spend too long speaking about it. It’s up to you! If you really want to achieve or become better at something or be a certain type of person there is plenty of information on how to do it. The internet is a fantastic resource to start with. Just do it!
The second way your self image is created is a belief borne out by how you feel EMOTIONALLY about yourself. Your self image has to be consistent with how you feel about yourself emotionally. This emotional charge can be very powerful depending on how you were treated as a child.
For example….when you were a child, if you asked your mother to help you with a game or some painting you were doing and she said ‘No, I’m too busy,’ the emotional content of that statement would of had a huge influence on your self image. Let me explain. If she said it with a smile and a soft voice then that would have had a positive effect on your self image. However, if she said it harshly with a scowl on her face that would of had a negative effect on your self image. It is the emotional content of what she said rather than the answer itself that makes the difference. As a child you would have experienced many such episodes, some good, some bad. Hopefully the good would have outweighed the bad. If you have a negative self image which has been formed in this way you will not be able to improve it by rational argument. By the way people who have a negative image of themselves, formed in this way, put everybody else first all the time, believing that they are unimportant. They believe that they don’t deserve very much from life. We all know somebody like that.
As we grow up these emotionally charged incidence have less of an effect on us. Psychologists tell us up to 5 years old is the period we are most susceptible to this type of self image formation, however we are still susceptible up to the age of about 12 years old.
So why can’t we just change things?
If we now know that having a low self image due to emotional events while we were growing up is holding us back, why can’t we just change those feelings to more resourceful ones?
Well these feelings and emotions were formed by emotional events during your childhood, and the belief you have about yourself is buried deep in the subconscious mind. If you were aware of every feeling, every emotion, every thought, then you could change things into something more resourceful. However this level of awareness would put you in the zen monk category. I talk about this on my website below.
For the majority of people this just isn’t going to happen. The subconscious mind doesn’t care if you are unhappy or poor or lonely. The subconscious mind is concerned with your survival. Your internal world was formed while you were young and it was formed in such a way that it gave you the greatest amount of safety and security.
For example….while you were growing up, you learned that water is safe to drink but dangerous to fall into, likewise, electricity powers a light bulb and gives you light so you can read but is extremely dangerous to touch.
Your subconscious does not want to change any of this information because doing so might be dangerous to you. Likewise the self image formed from emotional events and deeply ingrained in your subconscious is part of you and must stay there to keep you safe as far as your subconscious is concerned. Your earliest experiences gave your subconscious mind enough data to build up a picture of who you are and how much you are worth. If your self image is such that it believes that you are a failure your subconscious mind will have you act in such a way as to fulfill this belief every single time!
So how do we improve this part of your self image?
Your subconscious created it so you could be as safe and secure as possible when you were young, given the circumstances you had to deal with. We can improve it very easily by doing something that most people are familiar with but unfortunately don’t do properly and that is of course by goal setting.(more information on my website below) By goal setting correctly we immediately give the subconscious mind something positive to work on.
If you remember, I said that this part of your self image only responds to the emotional content of your perceived world. This is the reason you have the kind of self image that you have now. Therefore it is important to realise that this part of your self image will only RESPOND TO EMOTION ONCE AGAIN. This is why you must IMAGINE and VISUALISE what you want. You must get EXCITED about every aspect of it. If you don’t get excited then you must choose another goal. Unfortunately people try to make their goals ‘realistic’ in terms of what their present self image tells them they are capable of.
For example….the person who wants the million dollar mansion but settles for the 200K one because his present self image tells him he has to be ‘realistic.’ It is this very ‘realistic’ self image that has kept him down in the first place! If he kept imagining and visualising what he really wants, and gets excited about it, the subconscious mind HAS TO bring the opportunities that will help him acquire his million dollar mansion! This is the way Universal Law works!
If people would only realise that the subconscious will make all their dreams come true if they believed this to be the case. Doing little action steps towards each goal on a daily basis will keep you positive and looking forward. If this was done by everyone we would all be completely in charge of our own lives and less dependent on government, welfare and outside influences.
It is such a pity that the subconscious mind is prevented from achieving anything that you really want because the conscious mind judges everything by what the eye and ear reports to be true, much of which is only perception with no real truth. Personal growth is all about the self image and awareness. While most people may never be fully aware they can certainly work on dreams and goals. They can visualise and imagine how achieving them would feel. They can become excited by the mental images. If they are persistent over time, and small steps towards your goals are achieved, self image will improve and you will become more confident. These small successes snowball into bigger ones and before you know it you have achieved your largest long term goals. I wish you huge dreams and success!
- Thought Power – Your Thoughts Create Your Reality (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
- Knowing All About the Subconscious Mind (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
- Meditation ~ Four Different States of Mind (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
- Power of Subconscious Mind Over Health (joannewellington.wordpress.com)
- Why you should choose to follow your dreams.. (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
Certain events happen in our lives that completely change our outlook and consequently the choices we make. Be it ending a relationship, leaving a job, moving away, losing a loved one, winning the lottery, finding your soul mate, starting a family after many years of waiting, overcoming a fatal diagnosis, etc. This list could go on and on. One may say it is your destiny or karma.
It’s obvious that there is significance in every event of our lives, from the most joyful and empowering to the inexplicable or seemingly unjust. I am a true believer in the phrase “for every door that closes, four more open.” I have personally experienced it in my life on many occasions. So often, good things come out of bad or sad situations. Growth occurs and lessons learned benefit others and open their eyes to a world of possibilities.
The search for meaning is perhaps the most definitive aspect of our humanness. Everyone longs to find or make meaning of their lives and particularly the difficulties of their lives.
Friends or loved ones may come into your life for a purpose. This may be to teach you to love, learn to be compassionate, guide you along a difficult path that you have taken, or to pass on their knowledge to you. This reminds me of the book “Tuesdays with Morrie” by Mitch Albom. It’s a very enlightening story about a teacher who teaches his student many valuable lessons that he will use throughout his life.
It is important to remember, despite your circumstances, that life is short and make every day count. Appreciate the good times and how fortunate you are for your irreplaceable experiences. All of your challenges and obstacles have been opportunities to realize your potential, strengths and to put meaning into your life.
When you are able to turn around a negative situation and make the outcome positive, you should feel like you have accomplished the most wonderful, glorious task. I have attached several positive quotes that I find quite inspiring:
1. We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey.
– Stephen Covey
2. Unselfish and noble actions are the most radiant pages in the biography of souls.
– David Thomas
3. Each time someone stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope.
– Robert F. Kennedy
4. If you only look at what is, you might never attain what could be.
5. I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream.
– Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., twentieth-century American civil rights leader
6. No act of kindness, no matter how small is ever wasted.
– Aesop, Greek fabulist
7. If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it.
– Jonathan Winters
8. No fate is worse than a life without a love.
– Mexican Proverb
9. The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the
future, or anticipate troubles but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.
10. Never live in the past but always learn from it.
Sherise Lambert – About the Author:
At TarotWiz.com, we analyze and explore a wide variety of Spiritual Topics to investigate the truths of the Psychic Phenomenon. I specialize in using Tarot Cards to best communicate with spiritual energies. This assists me to interpret and provide guidance to others on their personal endeavors. I have been providing private readings professionally for over 9 years now. Thank you for reading our articles. We look forward to sharing our vast knowledge with you, and hope to peak your interest.
- How To Keep Spirituality Alive ~ Keeping It Real (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
- Discovering the Truth about Your Spirituality (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
- 5 Paths to Spiritual Growth (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
- Emotional Healing Examined (joannewellington.wordpress.com)
- Connecting with your Spiritual Source (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
- Remember that things happen for a reason…Its life (joannewellington.wordpress.com)
- What is the purpose of your life? (joannewellington.wordpress.com)
- Conquer your fears (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
There is a little block on Facebook that one fills in to let others know what you are doing. Everyone who has a Facebook account will know exactly what I am referring to. At the moment it asks; “What are you thinking about?” Yesterday I answered the question by writing: “Well only positive stuff! I am successfully keeping any negative thoughts out! Although there are a few yapping at the door, trying to get in!”
The fact that we can control our thoughts still remains one of my greatest revelations in this entire personal growth endeavour. For many people, thinking positively is a luxury, but really it is something we shouldn’t live without! So in actual fact it really is a necessity. I mean many people get through life with very little positive thinking at all, but the question is do they enjoy that life? I would imagine that they don’t, well not as much as they could anyway. People who do not concentrate on the positive things in life, have less fun than people who do! We all want to enjoy life more, don’t we?
Well here’s the solution; take the trouble and the time to direct your thoughts in a positive direction. It might seem tedious to start doing this at first…but make it a habit! As with everything in life, practice makes perfect! We’ve all seen cartoons of a character with a little angel sitting on one of his shoulders and a little devil sitting on the other. If the character gives in to the little devil that is making negative, evil suggestions he inevitably goes off and does some mischief. Similarly, if the little angel wins the battle of the will, the character goes of and performs a good deed. Although this is usually just a bit of fun entertainment, there is a lot of truth to the scene. We are constantly having to make mental choices, whether we realize it or not
As I mentioned in the Facebook quote, there are little negative thoughts yapping at the door of our minds all the time, and it is our job to keep them out. We have things ‘thrown’ at us on a moment-by-moment basis. We could easily chose to construe many of them as negative. It’s at that very moment that we must choose to think positively! Of course that is sometimes easier said than done, especially if you feel that you have a reason to be miserable or you have some other baggage, bondage or Life Sentence that has pre-programmed you to think in a negative way in this situation automatically. This of course is the very heart of my recently published book; “Freeing Your Mind”. In the book I identify all sorts of things that direct your thinking into a negative path. It’s things that give the red little imaginary devil sitting on your shoulder fuel to taunt you with. Yes, thinking positively is a luxury, but as earlier stated I venture to suggest that it’s a luxury that we can’t do without. In the next few blog articles that I will be submitting, I will address some of these bondages that make us open up the door to those yapping little negative thoughts. We have to keep that door shut! In fact we need deal with many issues that are causing the yapping, and causing the negative thoughts to surface more regularly. To stay with the metaphor, we need to reinforce that door so well that we can’t even hear most of the yapping and the little that we do we can easily ignore.
The problem is this does not happen by itself. It needs work, it needs attention, it needs you to take control of your thinking.
I feel like pleading with you, if you have not already done so, to make a conscious decision today! Decide that you will take control of you thinking from this moment on. Decide that from now on you will do whatever it takes to keep any negativism at bay. Do this and stick to it and you will find that your life will take on far a more positive hue. You will be far happier and have much more fun. In time you will have a whole new different life. If you would like to learn more about this, and harness the power of positive thinking I hope that you will join me and countless others by staying tuned in, and by following my blog in future.
For all the Facebook fans, you are also welcome to connect to my facebook page.
I leave you with this quote: “The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.” Unknown
Roy Stuart Heeley – About the Author:
“How can we eliminate the deepest source of all unsatisfactory experience? Only by cultivating certain qualities within our mindstream. Unless we possess high spiritual qualifications, there is no doubt that events life throws upon us will give rise to frustration, emotional turmoil, and other distorted states of consciousness. These imperfect states of mind in turn give rise to imperfect activities, and the seeds of suffering are ever planted in a steady flow. On the other hand, when the mind can dwell in wisdom that knows the ultimate mode of being, one is able to destroy the deepest root of distortion, negative karma, and sorrow.” – From The Path To Enlightenment by His Holiness the Dalai Lama
What are these spiritual qualifications that His Holiness the Dalai Lama refers to? This article will focus on emotional healing as this is the starting point for revealing these spiritual qualifications. So let’s take a close look at what it means to heal emotionally.
What is emotional healing? It is a painful process that leads to peace, happiness and self-knowledge. Self-knowledge leads to liberation. It is painful, because only painful emotions need to be healed. True happiness does not need releasing! But true happiness remains un-experienced as long as there is an escape from pain. It is the healing of buried pain that allows happiness and joy to start to make a true entrance into our lives. This is because only through self-acceptance can we really move forward in our lives.
The word pain is used here to cover the whole gamut of emotions, negative thinking and blockages, including sadness, grief, loneliness, hurt, fear, anger, guilt, judgment, betrayal, hatred, jealousy, envy and so on.
Emotional pain can be described as frozen feelings, stored in our body and memory, that lead to suffering. The suffering we experience may or may not be openly acknowledged to ourselves or not. When we suffer due to some negative emotion, if this is not acknowledged, the emotion gets lodged in us and remains there and thus the ‘see3ds of suffering’ are planted. Suffering is self-generated. No pain can be given to us from the outside. It is not the event but the thoughts we project onto ourselves and others about the event that create suffering.
At some level we obviously enjoy our suffering. It’s obvious because otherwise we wouldn’t be this way. After all, don’t most of us consider ourselves to be knowledgeable, clever, in control and aware? But despite all these attributes people constantly find themselves facing the same patterns, the same scenarios and the same problems time and time again. It’s like we lock ourselves into the prison of our own suffering, throw away the key and then complain when we ‘can’t’ open the door; yet the key is in our own pocket all along. You might say that this is a rather harsh view, and it perhaps seems so on the surface. The point is that it’s not about eradicating suffering, for this is part of life, but of acknowledging it for what it is. Calling a spade a spade. And not lawnmower.
In order to understand why individuals are responsible for their own suffering let’s enquire more deeply into the subject.
The majority of us have emotions stemming from our past, mostly with their origins in childhood. Given the society we live in, these emotions are difficult for us to express. We learn from a young age to keep them hidden inside us, since everyone else is doing the same. We watch others: our parents, siblings, other family members, friends as well as people in general. We notice that they suppress their emotions and try to always appear in control. Seeing our closest loved ones withholding their emotions from us – as well as thereby withholding their expressions of love – may even lead to deep issues of co-dependency. These patterns do not shift easily as one get older, rather become more and more entrenched. Wisdom is not an automatic given of ageing! Or maybe as a child we did show our emotions but got hurt in the process, so we decided at a subconscious level to hide our feelings, for fear of being hurt again. This is all very understandable and an aspect of the human condition as it is at present. But this is not the road to joy and peace. For pain can’t be eradicated by the suppression of it. And happiness can’t be attained through pretense (the mind projecting a self-image of ‘I am happy.’)
John Pierrakos, MD, one of the first psychiatrists to bridge medicine with spirituality, said, “Negative emotion will emerge in devious ways when it is denied recognition.” Thus, if we wish to live a true, fulfilled life, suppression is not an option. Moreover, John Pierrakos also said, “If we close off negative feelings, we stop our creative process.” Thus the suppression of emotions leads to dull lives, lacking in vitality and free expression; and moreover, keeps us starved of real love, given and received.
Over time, we come to believe our cover-ups and to buy into our own story of self-control believing we’re ‘fine’. Our emotional life becomes more and more hidden. Sometimes, when we do feel real feeling – maybe when we watch a film that moves us, or feel touched by someone’s act of kindness or due to a painful experience in our lives – we may allow real emotion to surface for a short while, but we are mostly still unable to fully express it. The foot is quickly back on the break pedal. Our habitual suppression kicks in automatically. We have trained ourselves well! And thus, as we go through life, with all the stresses and demands upon us, we may sometimes feel anguished and confused, but we are inept at expressing what really lies within us. As we lose connection with our own feeling center, we may even be unaware of what our true feelings are, since denial becomes the new reality during this suppression process. But denial is a painful game we play with ourselves, and if we are honest with ourselves, we can sense this dichotomy in us, a fragmentation, an inner conflict. We may have a niggling sense that we haven’t turned out to be the quite the person we thought we would be, or that life has somehow been harder than expected or that the quality of happiness we hoped for ourselves hasn’t manifested.
Eckhart Tolle, in the Power of Now, says: “The best indicator of your level of consciousness is how you deal with life’s challenges when they come. Through those challenges, an already unconscious person tends to become more deeply unconscious. You can use a challenge to awaken you, or you can allow it to pull you into even deeper sleep. The dream of ordinary unconsciousness then turns into a nightmare.”
This nightmare is one that most of us believe to be normal life. But real life is not this. If we open our eyes we will see the vast dichotomy between the quality of our inner experience and what we think or prefer to believe is our experience. This game that we constantly play with ourselves – a game that takes a serious toll eventually – is called ego. The ego – or personality – has a lot invested in our delusional patterns and keeping us this way.
If we can allow ourselves to become aware of this inner confusion and sense of dissatisfaction, then we have a chance to heal. If we remain unconscious to the world of emotions, life will continue on an unconscious path, a veritable battle to keep at bay what needs to come to the fore in order for us to become more whole. If we are truly honest with ourselves, we know that in our daily lives there are many instances of conflict or some negative emotion. But due to our inability to assimilate such emotions, we shy away from admitting this. The disease of the human condition to deny what is so and believe what we want to believe, lies at the heart of our own self-generated suffering. But the energy expended in keeping emotions at an arm’s length may as well be used to deal with these emotions because one day we’ll make that choice anyway. Finally we may say ‘enough is enough, I need to change’. In the end, whether now, in ten years, at the point of death, or beyond, our heart will feel the call to finally soften. But why wait? Why accumulate more ‘stuff’? Why deny? There is much healing to be done on this planet. It creaks heavily with the pain and suffering that its people are holding on to everyday.
If, individually, we are willing to allow our perspective to shift with regard to our beliefs about ourselves and take a step back from our fears, then we are half-way there. What we then have is a transformational opportunity that the release of emotions presents. In fact without it, growth – emotional, mental and spiritual – is impossible. When there’s an elephant in the middle of the room, there’s an elephant in the middle of the room!
It is often the case that emotional work requires a catalyst because it is not easy to look at ourselves in an honest way in the normal course of events due to the walls we place around ourselves, especially as we go on hiding ourselves from ourselves. But finally, there comes a point when the game’s up. So at a certain point in our life, a trigger may present itself that will take us out of our comfort zone. The trigger may be many and varied – loss of some kind, bereavement, mounting stress, illness, redundancy, addictive patterns becoming worse, a sudden change in our lives, or simply a weariness or low-lying depression. The pain that we feel at these times is a message from our heart asking us to shift our thinking and beliefs. We ignore this message to our detriment. The breeze of truth is knocking on the door. This truly is a blessing!
But better than waiting for such a catalyst we can also feed our own natural curiosity and with intent can become more conscious.
So what is ‘the process’ for emotional healing?
It is quite simply to feel the pain. To sink into it. For women, it’s a bit like labour pains when they tell you to just let the pain come. This is the key in the pocket. Also, the pain is felt in the body, our faithful mirror, and we can now look at where exactly it is in the body. Perhaps it is in the chest area, or maybe the belly. Our body can show us much more about ourselves if we listen to it and it doesn’t lie. For example, cancer patients who have ridden themselves of cancer have, in the process of healing, usually had to look within themselves at the negative emotions they have been holding onto, and release them.
It is often beneficial if the origin of the painful memories can be remembered but this is not essential. Even if you can’t remember the exact circumstances or conditions at the time of the pain being created inside you, the emotion itself is still stored and this can be felt. Energy never disappears, especially where there is much emotional charge.
Where does the anguish or anger come from? What are the beliefs you hold about yourself concerning this situation? Usually at the base of pain is a closely-guarded belief about ourselves, something we do not care to admit to easily. A feeling of unworthiness, not being good enough or some negative self-belief. Stating this belief in one sentence is often a good way of pin-pointing it. When we find the limiting belief, we will usually feel deep emotion arise, and the tears need to be allowed as they arise. Fear not! Tears and suffering are finite.
Whatever the circumstances, we ultimately created our own pain alone, and we must deal with it alone. Whether someone else is present when we go through this is our choice – and it can certainly be very beneficial eg a therapist, holistic practitioner or trusted friend – but no one can feel the pain for us and or take responsibility for it, other than us. This work is done alone ultimately. However there are many tools and techniques that can help us with this work, eg Hypnotherapy, Counselling, Core Energetics, EFT, Spiritual Healing and much more.
For men, it is often harder to allow themselves to admit to and feel deep pain, and to weep. But this is a huge release. Feeling the pain is necessary if healing is to occur, regardless of whether you’re a man or woman. Ultimately the gender divide is immaterial. It is time for men to allow balance between the male and female energies within them. Just because you’re a man, it doesn’t mean you’re not sensitive. Sensitivity is the birthright of both genders. Have you seen how sensitive babies are, both girls and boys? It’s just adults who have formed walls around their heart. Now the heart is gasping for air.
Healing ourselves is an allowing of whatever memories and thoughts arise without resistance. It’s the resistance to what is arising that turns pain into suffering. Resisting anything in life causes some level of suffering. We’ve heard the expression, ‘what you resist persists.’ So there is simply no deeper way to heal than to allow pain to surface whenever it shows up. But be careful not to resist the resistance! Even this must be allowed.
When we are real with ourselves, there is a great release and freeing up that takes place. This is because we are no longer the same person anymore. We are still who we always were, but now, without the burden of that pain. J Krishnamurti said, “Pain itself destroys pain. Suffering itself frees man from suffering.” This is because in feeling our pain purely, without resistance, it is released and is no more pain, but rather freedom. It’s the freedom of being liberated into the full-feeling, authentic human beings that we really are.
The act of self-healing is an act of self-love. And love truly is the transformative power. Self-love is the starting point. How can we love another when we have little idea how to love ourselves? How can we love ourselves when we deny ourselves due to feelings of shame, insecurity or guilt? Loving oneself is like nurturing a brand new baby. It’s a nice analogy. As a loving parent would you want your baby to suppress its needs and suffer silently or would you want your baby to express its needs and have these met? Uncannily, we may see that it is the nakedness of love that really terrifies us. Love terrifies us much more than fear. We are not used to love in its tenderness. But there is ultimately no other option. We are here to learn the lesson of love.
The understanding and empathy that come from being more gentle with ourselves enables us to be gentler towards others. In learning to love ourselves, we learn what it means to forgive ourselves. Forgiveness is deeply healing. It allows a softening in the place where we were stuck and hardened.
Once we do such release work, the sensation or experience we may feel is that a fog has lifted from in front of our eyes, yet only now do we know this fog was ever there. A sense of surprise that the problem was a problem in the first place. Our eyes see as if for the first time. We lighten up. Phew! A heavy weight lifts. We begin to let go of our addiction to pain and suffering, for it is that: an addiction. It is what we are used to. We may finally see that shocking events only exist to shock us into awakening to the truth of life. And what is the truth exactly? It is that all our emotions and pain are not real. If they were we could not shed them, or heal them. For what is real does not require shedding, it simply is. The truth is that we are complete and whole as we are, and this real Self requires no healing. All the events and situations that arise that challenge us are for the purpose of unveiling the real Self, where we finally find peace and rest.
The reason that the release of hidden pain provides such relief is that we feel a rare moment of existing in the Now, of being present to ourselves. This is a profound experience, for it is only in being present to ‘what is’ that we can truly experience ourselves as real.
Pain cannot exist except in our minds, our closely guarded memories, and the beliefs we hold about ourselves and others. These are simply a protection mechanism for fears that do not exist in reality. Ultimately all pain and suffering are an illusion – hard as this may be for the mind to accept. How we know fear doesn’t exist in reality is because in those beautiful, alive moments when we are wholly present to what is, we feel freedom and lightness. There is no fear then.
And what does life look like without undue suffering? David Spero, a great spiritual teacher based in California, says, “The more profoundly we go into our emotional states, going deep into the fabric of our emotional life (that which is true for us) and release that which has been put there through some form of abuse or some form of betrayal – working through that you begin to feel naturally what you feel in an unhurt state.” Fundamentally, we are all innately happy and peaceful.
Sri Ramana Maharshi (1879 – 1950), the Indian sage who attained enlightenment at the age of 16, said: “Happiness is your nature. It is not wrong to desire it. What is wrong is seeking it outside when it is inside.”
To unveil this state of happiness we must first look at its distortions. We can only discover it by going into and through the level of guilt and negativity we carry inside. This allows the moment to be experienced unresisted. Then sorrow is transcended and our own innate joyful nature allowed to surface. And in being true to our real Self, we experience deep satisfaction. Finally, we are home.
Reena Gagneja – Counselor – About the Author:
Get a FREE numerology reading by clicking here and receive a bonus report also free, “How To Change Your Life With Numerology!”
Reena Gagneja is an internet marketer and runs the Spiritual Truth Blog, where you will find the Truth behind the scenes – vital information for these changing times. She is a Spiritual Counsellor, Soul Plan Reader and Amega Global Business Associate.
- Forgiveness – All in all~The Path To Healing & Spiritual Growth ~ (joannewellington.wordpress.com)
- Are Your Emotions Affecting Your Health? (joannewellington.wordpress.com)
- Are your negative emotions wasting your life? (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
- Our Spiritual Nature (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)