2012 represents a new beginning for some people. However, past failures can cause many people to lose focus on their goals. In fact, some people give up just when success is right around the corner. Society classifies a person as a loser by his or her financial success. According to Yankelovich Monitor, 80% of people identify success and accomplishment with being in control of life. Napoleon Hill, the author of Think and Grow Rich, understood the crippling effects of failure. In fact, he analyzed several thousand men and women (98 percent of this group was classified as “losers”). Napoleon noted: “There are millions of people who believe themselves ‘doomed’ to poverty and failure, because of some strange force over which they believe they have no control. They are the creators of their own ‘misfortunes,’ because of this negative belief, which is picked up by the subconscious mind, and translated into its physical equivalent.” It is very easy for most people to point fingers at others for their failures.
Successful people use 2012 as new opportunities for success. If individuals want to achieve something different for the year, they must understand how to manage failure and take control of their own lives. Successful people make it a habit to concentrate their energies on things that they control while victims concentrate on their lack of power. When a person feels he is powerless, it causes him to be fearful. Doubt and worry contribute to these feelings. Fear exists in the absence of control. Brian Tracy, author of Advanced Selling Strategies, argues: “The key to a healthy mental attitude is a sense of control, a sense that you are the primary creative force in your life. It is a feeling that you are in control of what you do and everything that happens to you.” Too many people focus on things beyond their control. In reality, you can control how you deal with a situation. Many so-called losers spend more time complaining about the things they can’t control. The following suggestions are offered:
- Develop a clear sense of purpose.
- Practice positive affirmations about yourself.
- Learn from past failures.
- Analyse successful people’s mistakes and learn how they cope with failure.
- Surround yourself with winners.
During these economic times, individuals must gain the tenacity to deal with the negative consequences of failure. So who hasn’t failed? Helen Keller? Albert Einstein? Oprah Winfrey? Steve Jobs? Everyone has had some failures in his or her life. Successful people rebound from failure. The key is what you learn from your mistakes and your desire to bounce back from a bad situation. For example, Thomas Edison, a great inventor, said about his failure, “I hadn’t failed, I’ve found 10,000 ways that don’t work.” Individuals don’t need to become victims of own self-doubt because no one is destined for failure. In fact, you don’t need to accept the status of “Loser” on your forehead. By taking actions today, individuals will start on a new journey toward success.
© 2012 by Daryl D. Green
andrew - About the Author:
About Dr. Daryl Green: Dr. Daryl Green provides motivation, guidance, and training for leaders at critical ages and stages of their development. He has over 20 years of management experience and has been noted and quoted by USA Today, Ebony Magazine, and Associated Press. For more information, you can go to nuleadership.wordpress.com or www.darylgreen.net.
What is the difference between responsibility and blame? The most basic answer to that question is judgment; when you blame you judge. According to Merriam Webster, responsibility is defined as the quality or state of being responsible as a: moral, legal, or mental accountability. Blame, however, is defined by finding fault with someone or something. The most obvious difference when examining these definitions is judgment. If someone blames you for something, they have found fault with something that you have done or some decision that you made. If you are to blame then something you have said or done has caused an adverse or undesired outcome.
I, like millions of other people, grew up in a less than ideal environment. That environment hindered my growth and development during that time. That environment helped shape me into the person that I have become today. I could blame all my problems and bad decisions on my childhood. I could blame all of life’s woes on my parents; convince myself, as well as others, they are terrible people or at least terrible parents. However, any such ascertain would not only be unrealistic, it would be a lie. The truth is my parents did the best they could with the information they had available to them at the time. My parents will always be my greatest teachers. My parents may have made some decisions I wish they wouldn’t have, but to blame them takes away any personal responsibility. I used to blame all my hardships on my mother, especially, and I can assure you it never did me any good. My mother always says, “that was then and this is now” and she is right; choosing to forgive all involved and take responsibility for my part in the dysfunction helped significantly. I allowed myself to learn very valuable lessons and move on with my life and even become a better person. There is payoff in the pain; being the victim and blaming others only allows you to feel helpless, and feeling this way allows for you not to make the necessary changes that will improve your quality of life. I do realize that not everyone had a “bad” childhood but everyone has adversity that must be overcome at some point in his or her life.
Taking responsibility allows us to learn from our history and personal experiences, where as blame is just a judgment that keeps you stuck in your own personal emotional hell. Blame is a judgment that prevents us from learning from our experiences and moving on in a healthy way that is beneficial for all involved. The economy is not in chaos because of one person’s greedy decision. Our way of life has not fundamentally changed because one powerful man or woman said it should. Our current dire circumstances are a direct result of everyone’s decisions. We have corrupt politicians but they work for us and we elected them into office. We have created many of the problems that we are facing, and now is the time to take responsibility and shift into a new way of relating to each other, shifting into the next paradigm. Stop pointing your finger with blame because every time you do there are usually three more fingers pointing back at you. The big book tells addicts that they have “stinking thinking” and it is that thinking that got them into trouble in the first place. Shift from blame to responsibility and help yourself and the rest of us began the healing process together. Change your language and perception and you will see the world change right before your eyes.
L.G. Fuller - About the Author:
My name is LG Fuller and I am an aspiring author. I have always had a passion for writing and this is my attempt to turn my passion into a profession. I would love any feedback so please comment and or follow me on twitter at LGFuller07@twitter
Most people admire and respect strong individuals, who have won great success by manifesting will power and self discipline. They admire people, who with sheer will power, self discipline and ambition, have improved their life, learned new skills, overcame difficulties and hardships, reduced their weight, rose high in their chosen field or advanced on the spiritual path.
The truth is that everyone can reach high levels of will power and self-discipline through a practical method of training. These inner power are not reserved for a few special people.
Will power and self discipline are two of the most important and useful inner powers in everyone’s life, and have always been considered as essential tools for success in all areas of life. They can be learned and developed like any other skill, yet, in spite of this, only few take any steps to develop and strengthen them in a systematic way.
What is will power?
It is the inner strength to make a decision, take action, and handle and execute any aim or task until it is accomplished, regardless of inner and outer resistance, discomfort or difficulties.
It bestows the ability to overcomes laziness, temptations and negative habits, and to carry out actions, even if they require effort, are unpleasant and tedious or are contrary to one’s habits.
What is self discipline?
It is the rejection of instant gratification in favor of something better. It is the giving up of instant pleasure and satisfaction for a higher and better goal.
It manifests as the ability to stick to actions, thoughts and behavior, which lead to improvement and success. Self-discipline is self-control, and it manifests in spiritual, mental, emotional and physical discipline.
The purpose of self-discipline is not living a limiting or a restrictive lifestyle. It does not mean being narrow minded or living like a fakir. It is one of the pillars of success and power. It bestows the inner strength to focus all your energy on your goal, and persevere until it is accomplished.
Both of these abilities are required for daily actions and decisions, and also for making major decisions and attaining major success. They are required for doing a good job, for studying, building a business, losing weight, bodybuilding and physical exercises, maintaining good relationships, changing habits, self improvement, meditation, spiritual growth, keeping and carrying out promises and for almost everything else.
One of the most simple and effective methods to develop will power and self-discipline is by refusing to satisfy unimportant and unnecessary desires. Everyone is constantly confronted and tempted by an endless stream of desires and temptations, many of which are not really important or desirable. By learning to refuse to satisfy every one of them, you get stronger.
Refusing and rejecting useless, harmful or unnecessary desires and actions, and intentionally acting contrary to your habits, sharpen and strengthen your inner strength. By constant practice your inner power grows, just like exercising your muscles at a gym increases your physical strength. In both cases, when you need inner power or physical strength, they are available at your disposal.
Here are a few exercises:
- Don’t read the newspaper for a day or two.
- Drink water when thirsty, in spite of your desire to have a soft drink.
- Walk up and down the stairs, instead of taking the lift.
- Get down from the bus one station before or after your destination, and walk the rest of the way.
- For one week, go to sleep one hour earlier than usual.
- If you like ice cream, don’t have any, for a day or two.
These are only a few examples to show how you can develop your will power and self-discipline. You may think that practicing such exercises is being tough on yourself, maybe a little, but they add so much to the storehouse of your inner strength. By following a systematic method of training you can reach far, have more control over yourself and your life, attain your goals, improve your life, and gain satisfaction and peace of mind.
Show and prove to yourself that you are strong and in control, and practice the above exercises for a little while, before passing any judgement on them.
© Copyright Remez Sasson
Remez Sasson teaches and writes on positive thinking, creative visualization, motivation, self-improvement, peace of mind, spiritual growth and meditation. He is the author of several books, among which are “Peace of mind in Daily Life”, “Will Power and Self Discipline”, “Visualize and Achieve” and “Affirmations – Words of Power”.
Visit his website and find articles and books filled with inspiration, motivation and practical advice and guidance.
Have you ever prayed for something and wished for it and worked hard to get it but it just doesn’t come? We have all been in this place where we want something so badly we can almost taste it and it’s not here. We wonder ‘why?’ and often think, “Why me?” or “Why NOT me?” It is frustrating and emotional. We can feel angry and disappointed. There are expectations that if we envision what we want and do the work, then we should be able to have it right? That is, after all, what the law of attraction teaches us.
When you really want something and you are going after it with much attention, action and drive, it is challenging when the result doesn’t happen fast enough for you or when it doesn’t happen at all. You start to question everything including your resolve and the actions you are taking, if you are going in the right direction. It is not an easy place to be!
It has been said that prayers are answered in one of three ways and I quite agree:
1. Yes! You can have it!
2. No, it’s not time yet.
3. No, there is something better in store for you.
The first answer, “Yes” is usually quite easy to manage. It’s what you want and you are ready for it so you celebrate your success and are quite grateful. (You DO celebrate and count acknowledge your gratitude, don’t you?)
But what happens when the answer is “No”? Either we have to wait, which is something we humans generally don’t like to do or we are not getting it at all and we have to look for something else. Either way, we are frustrated!
When Time is the Problem
Most people have a hard time with ‘patience’. We don’t understand why we can’t just have what we want when we want it especially since we think we are ready for it.
This is a challenge because of our relationship with time. I admit I am not immune here. I don’t like to wait for things, although I have improved over the years. As we get older, our relationship with time changes; we understand it better – that doesn’t mean we like it; we just learn that the universe has its own timetable and things don’t always happen when we want them to.
I don’t know about you, but I still want what I want when I want it! I have learned, however, to recognize this feeling of pushing my will on the universe and accept ‘All good things in good time’. If it is meant for me to have it or enjoy it, I will; just not right now. There is nothing I need to do, nothing I need to change. I simply need to be with ‘what is’ and not worry or concern myself with things I do not yet have.
If this is, in fact, the answer to your goals, dreams and prayers, but it is not yet the right time, then the work to be done here is to focus on getting ready. There is something that you still need to learn, do, develop or plan in order to be prepared for what is coming. The universe is preparing; so should you.
When There is Something Else in Store
This response is the hardest to handle. It requires trust that the universe knows better than you what is best for you. It is forcing you to have faith that something better is coming and you might not have a clue as to what that is.
Trust. Have faith. Continue to do the work to prepare yourself for what you believe you want. And focus on what you do have control over – YOU. Focus your energies on being your best and on developing yourself. Enjoy the here and now and make the most of it as opposed to being so focused on the future and what might be coming.
“Waiting” is never easy. I never liked the word “patience” which is another word for “waiting”. Patience implies that you are not happy with the present but rather focused on and wishing for some ideal future.
When does later ever come? If you cannot be happy with what you have, how will you ever know happiness?
I struggle here as well. It is not easy to want something and work toward it while staying focused on what you have but that is exactly what you need to do – always. If not, then you lose the present moment and all its glory to our passion over a projected future that is a fantasy. You lose the present to an illusion of what might be ‘someday’. ‘Someday’ may never come.
Happiness, contentment and joy can only be experienced in the here and now; it cannot be projected into the future.
When the answer to your prayers is ‘yes’, enjoy it. Revel in it. Be grateful and appreciative of it. This means that your vision for yourself was in complete alignment with what was meant for you.
When you do not get what you want, enjoy what you have while at the same time continuing to work toward what you want you. Trust that you will enjoy all you desire – when it is time.
About the author
Julie Donley has worked in psychiatric nursing since 1993 and founded her company, Nurturing Your Success, in 2001 to assist people in achieving their goals and working through change. She is the author of several books including Does Change have to be so H.A.R.D.? and The Journey Called YOU: A Roadmap to Self-Discovery and Acceptance. Learn more at http://www.NurturingYourSuccess.com. Contact Julie at Julie@NurturingYourSuccess.com to have her speak at your next meeting or conference.
“Sara!” her mom yelled. “What are you doing? You know to do your chores right when you get home! And you’re late!”"Coming, Mom!” Sara yelled, getting up and stomping towards the kitchen. “What?” she snapped as her mother gave her a stern look, annoyed.
“You’d better straighten up your attitude, young lady,” her mom warned, “or you’ll be grounded.”
“Whatever.” Sara began to throw around the dishes in the sink, trying to make as much noise as she possibly could. A plate cracked and cut her hand. Sara cursed.
“Sara!” her mom exclaimed. “How dare you use that language! Go to your room!”
“No!” Sara yelled, throwing down the towel she was using to wipe the blood off her hand.
“Do you want to say ‘no’ one more time and see what happens?” her mom asked. She looked furious.
“Sure,” Sara said sarcastically. “No.”
“How dare you!” Her mother slapped her.
Sara shrank back, staring incredulously at her mom. She had never hit Sara before.
“I HATE YOU!” Sara screamed before running out of the house.
“Sara, get back here!” her mom yelled, running after her.
“Leave me alone!” Sara screamed, running across the street. “I HATE YOU!” she screamed again.
She continued running until she heard the sound of screeching tires and a scream. She turned around, hoping that it wouldn’t be what she thought it would be….
People were crowding around Sara’s mother, who was laying in the middle of the street, looking broken, bloody.
“NOOOO!” Sara screamed, running over and pushing through everyone to kneel by her mom. “Oh no, oh no….”
Her mom wasn’t moving or breathing. She was gone. Sara tipped back her head and wailed to the sky, sobbing so hard it hurt.
She couldn’t believe the last words she had spoken to her mother were “I hate you”.