Have you ever prayed for something and wished for it and worked hard to get it but it just doesn’t come? We have all been in this place where we want something so badly we can almost taste it and it’s not here. We wonder ‘why?’ and often think, “Why me?” or “Why NOT me?” It is frustrating and emotional. We can feel angry and disappointed. There are expectations that if we envision what we want and do the work, then we should be able to have it right? That is, after all, what the law of attraction teaches us.
When you really want something and you are going after it with much attention, action and drive, it is challenging when the result doesn’t happen fast enough for you or when it doesn’t happen at all. You start to question everything including your resolve and the actions you are taking, if you are going in the right direction. It is not an easy place to be!
It has been said that prayers are answered in one of three ways and I quite agree:
1. Yes! You can have it!
2. No, it’s not time yet.
3. No, there is something better in store for you.
The first answer, “Yes” is usually quite easy to manage. It’s what you want and you are ready for it so you celebrate your success and are quite grateful. (You DO celebrate and count acknowledge your gratitude, don’t you?)
But what happens when the answer is “No”? Either we have to wait, which is something we humans generally don’t like to do or we are not getting it at all and we have to look for something else. Either way, we are frustrated!
When Time is the Problem
Most people have a hard time with ‘patience’. We don’t understand why we can’t just have what we want when we want it especially since we think we are ready for it.
This is a challenge because of our relationship with time. I admit I am not immune here. I don’t like to wait for things, although I have improved over the years. As we get older, our relationship with time changes; we understand it better – that doesn’t mean we like it; we just learn that the universe has its own timetable and things don’t always happen when we want them to.
I don’t know about you, but I still want what I want when I want it! I have learned, however, to recognize this feeling of pushing my will on the universe and accept ‘All good things in good time’. If it is meant for me to have it or enjoy it, I will; just not right now. There is nothing I need to do, nothing I need to change. I simply need to be with ‘what is’ and not worry or concern myself with things I do not yet have.
If this is, in fact, the answer to your goals, dreams and prayers, but it is not yet the right time, then the work to be done here is to focus on getting ready. There is something that you still need to learn, do, develop or plan in order to be prepared for what is coming. The universe is preparing; so should you.
When There is Something Else in Store
This response is the hardest to handle. It requires trust that the universe knows better than you what is best for you. It is forcing you to have faith that something better is coming and you might not have a clue as to what that is.
Trust. Have faith. Continue to do the work to prepare yourself for what you believe you want. And focus on what you do have control over – YOU. Focus your energies on being your best and on developing yourself. Enjoy the here and now and make the most of it as opposed to being so focused on the future and what might be coming.
“Waiting” is never easy. I never liked the word “patience” which is another word for “waiting”. Patience implies that you are not happy with the present but rather focused on and wishing for some ideal future.
When does later ever come? If you cannot be happy with what you have, how will you ever know happiness?
I struggle here as well. It is not easy to want something and work toward it while staying focused on what you have but that is exactly what you need to do – always. If not, then you lose the present moment and all its glory to our passion over a projected future that is a fantasy. You lose the present to an illusion of what might be ‘someday’. ‘Someday’ may never come.
Happiness, contentment and joy can only be experienced in the here and now; it cannot be projected into the future.
When the answer to your prayers is ‘yes’, enjoy it. Revel in it. Be grateful and appreciative of it. This means that your vision for yourself was in complete alignment with what was meant for you.
When you do not get what you want, enjoy what you have while at the same time continuing to work toward what you want you. Trust that you will enjoy all you desire – when it is time.
About the author
Julie Donley has worked in psychiatric nursing since 1993 and founded her company, Nurturing Your Success, in 2001 to assist people in achieving their goals and working through change. She is the author of several books including Does Change have to be so H.A.R.D.? and The Journey Called YOU: A Roadmap to Self-Discovery and Acceptance. Learn more at http://www.NurturingYourSuccess.com. Contact Julie at Julie@NurturingYourSuccess.com to have her speak at your next meeting or conference.
Have you ever noticed after being around someone that you feel totally emotionally and physically drained? Have you ever wondered what in the world happened? The answer is you were with a Spiritual Vampire.
A Spiritual Vampire is not like vampires in stories and movies that drain your blood; they drain your energy. These attacks are very real and happen on a daily basis. Most of us go through life not realizing that we are being drained of our spiritual and physical energy.
Spiritual vampirism is real and flourishing more than ever in today’s world. I use the term spiritual vampire because they are tapping into your spirit. Because they are consumers of energy rather than blood, their own inadequate energy causes them to tap into an unsuspecting person (host) energy system. The spiritual vampire feels a rush and exhilaration after tapping into the energy source whereas the victim feels mentally depleted and even physically drained. Constant attack can cause the energy system to break down and even cause physical illness.
Read more >>> Spiritual Vampires
How can we not judge when someone does an act that is harmful to us in a harmful manner ? If someone is doing a harmful act, should we just accept the harm saying that it is just the maturity level of the person? If there is no right or wrong, then are we not letting people justify their wrong doings? Without judging how can move away from something unpleasant?
Can we look deeper within ourselves? Can we see that many times our judgements happen due to our
vested interest, when a personal desire goes unfulfilled? If the very same situation would had happened to someone else, then perhaps we may not have judged it the way we did. However when the mind experiences a personal loss, then it is quick to judge, have you noticed this? Many times we judge the acts of others, yet when the same act is committed by us, we are completely accepting of ourselves. This happens to the best of us – this is ego and attachment at play.
Judgement divides the world into two, into that which is acceptable and that which is not. Once the world is divided, conflict is inevitable. When the mind judges something as wrong or bad, it becomes agitated, it moves off from it’s center. The mental agitation does not help in making the situation we are dealing with better. When in judgement, instead of seeking for a “solution”, our mind starts contributing to the “problem” at hand. And then, repeated, strong mental agitations programs our subconscious mind into believing that these unwanted situations is actually what we desire, and thus more undesirable situations begin to manifest in our lives.
Say you have a light dimmer with 5 levels, 1 being the lowest (dark) and 5 being complete brightness. To judge the dimmer would be to keep our minds extremely blissful when the dimmer is at level 5, being happy when it is at level 4, neutral at level 3, being unhappy with the dimmer when it is at level 2, and then becoming completely upset with it when it is at level 1 (dark). And then if you prefer darkness instead of light, you do the same thing, just that your emotions will be in reverse – you would be upset when the dimmer is at level 5, and happy when it is level 1. In reality, why don’t we judge the dimmer? Could it be because we know that it is the nature of the dimmer to give different amount of light at different levels? In the same way, could it be possible that different people give out different amounts of “light” depending on their present state of mind and their level of spiritual/psychological evolution?
Non judgement does not mean we let people run all over us and not take any necessary steps to move towards making the situation better. Indeed take appropriate action Be aware of where the road leads Choose intelligence. Not every decision we make is a moral choice. Sometimes its just a matter of choosing between stupidity and intelligence, but detach your mind from it, which is the cause for your negativity. To not judge is to see the act of the other and experience no resistance in our mind. It does not mean we accept the act, neither does it mean we reject the act. It is choiceless, awareness of the act. It is seeing things as they are, without the veil of our beliefs, prejudices, and our attachments. In pure awareness, there is no mental agitation, and you get energy to move towards creating an improved situation for yourself. While our judgement makes the undesirable behaviour persist, our awareness changes the very energy, the very karma of the situation In some cases letting go is the right choice and as we all know every situation is different life is what it is and what we ourselves make it.. we are who we are we are where we are because of our personal life’s journeys And what we need to learn from it.
Copyright © 2010,2015 Joanne Wellington All Rights Reserved.
- The Inner Dialogue (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
Love and freedom are two of those words that are interchangeable. Freedom of choice is unconditional love- unconditional freedom. Choice is another of those words that are interchangeable with Love and freedom.
For the most part, humanity understands little of what the word unconditional means. Unconditional means… “NO CONDITIONS.” This lack of understanding is what has divided man from man, and religion from religion throughout his sojourn in the physical reality. It is again man’s ego trying to grasp the idea, and not being able to surrender to its meaning. It appears to be the nature of humanity to always add conditions to unconditional-let me demonstrate.