Sometimes we spend a chunk of our lives looking back on what was. We are stuck remembering and holding onto something that is no more. We reflect on old issues, remembering things that have happened and moments that have passed. Why do we do this; why is it so important to us that it, in a way, consumes us? What benefit is there from spending so much time reflecting and remembering? Sometimes it seems like our mind wanders there on its own, without our consent. We could be busy, occupied with something else, and all of a sudden we are thinking of our past and once again drawn into a moment that is gone. Why do we do this? Because we haven’t let go of what was, and because we do not fully understand it.
We hold onto moments that have affected us, moments that were hard for us or emotionally difficult, and we also hold onto what we don’t understand. Think about it, how often do you spend time remembering the great moments, the moments where all went well and everything was great? Those memories are wonderful and they should be the ones to pop up so that we can feel good and be happy. But no, this is not what we do, for we understand those moments, nothing confuses us, and therefore they are rarely looked at. We look at the ones we don’t understand because our mind is trying to figure them out. Why was it so hard, why did it hurt us so much, what could I have done differently? Why did I do what I did, or why did someone else do that to me? All these questions are being run through our memories because we are trying to understand and make sense of what happened to us. We may not get the answers, but we continue to try and we fixate on certain moments.
Do you ever find yourself reflecting on the same event over and over? One moment that was hard for you and emotionally trying? You are either trying to make sense of that moment or you haven’t chosen to let it go. For if we understand it and we still replay it over, then we are choosing to be stuck with it. You can look at it in two ways, either you are choosing to hold onto something that no longer exists because you want to or because you don’t understand it. There is one way to solve both of these problems. It is acceptance; it is that pure and that simple. If you want to be at peace with your past, accept it completely. Accept that you don’t understand it and probably never will, and then be okay with that by accepting the idea that you cannot solve it.
By accepting our past, we in turn let it go; we can let go of the moments that hurt us and we still hold onto. By accepting that it did happen, we let it go. We try to avoid this kind of acceptance, we really do, that is why we spend so much time in our past. Acceptance holds a lot of power; it not only releases, but it sends us into a much more clear and open place, one without fear, worry, or hindrances of any kind. By accepting, we are not only setting ourselves free, but we are opening ourselves up. Think about all the space you could have in your mind and in your heart if it were not filled by those trying memories. Think about how much more peaceful you could feel without that one memory that keeps bugging you. By eliminating those trying and hurtful memories, we are allowing ourselves to move on and live life in the present. Accept and be free.
Zoe Young and Adam Benedetto - About the Author:
Find your true self, and learn how to truly be in the moment at Answers in Writing.
Adam Benedetto and Zoe Young are both dedicated to enabling others to reach their full potential in life, to help others release what is holding them back, and to find their true selves. Through years of experience and development, both have sought out the answers we all need to find peace, understand ourselves, and reach enlightenment.
“A reason why we do not regard others as precious is that we pay great attention to their faults whilst ignoring their positive qualities.Unfortunately we have become very skilled in recognizing the faults of others, and we devote a great deal of mental energy to listing them, analyzing them, and even meditating on them!
And then spend time putting others down. With this critical attitude, if we disagree with our partner, Lover or colleagues about something, instead of trying to understand their point of view we repeatedly think of many reasons why we are right and they are wrong. By focusing exclusively on their faults and limitations we become angry and resentful, and rather than cherishing them we develop the wish to harm or discredit them.
In this way small disagreements can easily turn into conflicts that simmer for months and even years. We can communicate happiness, acceptance and compassion to others by not doing great acts of devotion and self-sacrifice (Which often lead to great resentment).
But by the simple absence of fault-finding and censure, by being ready to empathize with their notions and feelings, instead of forcing them to conform with ours. We can LISTEN quietly and seek to UNDERSTAND!” Try it today
Stop trying to analyse situations your way all the time !!
Step outside the box!.
~LET GO. Pain. Hurt. Grief. Anger. Ache. Agony. Affliction. Resentment. Madness. Rejection. Fear. Pride. Ego. Expectations. Tears. Attachments. Disappointments. Torture. Torment. Trouble. Wound. Irritation. Misery. Vengeance. Selfishness.~
~ALLOW: Acceptance. Compassion. Devotion. Fidelity. Enchantment. Humility. Friendship. Delight. Respect. Trust. Honesty. Kindness. Flame. Charity. Goodness. Grace. Patience. Sweetness. Thoughtfulness. Understanding. Tenderness. Yearning. Heal yourself and LOVE!.. Every thought you think takes you forwards so think wisely.~
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Written by Joanne Wellington for Mediums World
Copyright © 2010,2015 Joanne Wellington All Rights Reserved.
The problem isn’t that we have problems. The problem is we’ve become weak. and we make most of the problems ourself. There’s far too many people looking for “someone” or some “thing” to blame for their lot or stages in life. We’ve become a world consisting of a self-serving, hedonistic life-style that only breeds further contempt, shame, cynicism, and fear…HATERS, Look… Jealousy is simply the fear that you dont have value. You need to find self value. Love yourself or you wont believe that you are loved. Stop looking at others to judge and attack & look within yourself.
Dig deep find all that hate, jealousy & clear it out of your system. Use that energy to build your own personal & emotional security.Then you may be the one others envy & you can remember the pain you had & reach out to them. For what it’s worth regardless what you may say or do to me I believe deep down you are good people. It’s time to stand up and fight for those ideals and virtues that makes us who we really are, that makes us human, that gives us strength and faith; courage, honor, compassion, decency, kindness, sympathy, honesty, and LOVE, absent of fear, pride, anger, greed, and resentment. Say it loud, say it clear, “BE the change” point the finger at yourself for once i did it!, Instead change yourself for the better.
Wishing you all a sensual, warm, loving, joyful and restful NEW START… Make 2012 a new beginning for you. ~JW~
- 2012 – Armageddon Or New Humanity? (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
“How much do you love your children? Because attracting the wrong people into their lives is on your head! meaning the type of friends and people you choose to be around you and your children”
Setting the right foundations from the very beginning, from the moment they start watching you is so important, and continuing throughout as they grow. It is an important part of our parenting involving making decisions making sure your children are not surrounded by the wrong type of people. I mean come on your not stupid you know what I mean if you have major selfish ‘me me me’ drama kings or queens around your children .. That is not taking responsibility is it! Having responsibilities and having duties to perform in keeping our kids safe at all times is one of our main priorities.
Sometimes we may wonder how to achieve a balance with these different demands they are conflicting for many people the first step to finding a balance is by holding a positive mind-set around them even through the bad, the bad is there for a reason it helps change our way of thinking for the better but that’s for us not our children, their time will come later on in life …You have to believe “(positive mind set)” in you in the people you associate with and around is the best start for your children.
In “Parenting with Love and Logic” by Fay and Cline, they describe a child who needs to know their parents love them by setting firm limits. Children push their parents to see if they are going to be consistent, because if they are, the child will feel safe and stable, but if not, they will actually feel insecure and anxious growing up. The authors liken this to a child leaning against a wall to see if it will hold up and not crumble; if they push against the wall and it crumbles, the child realizes that very little in life is stable and secure. At the same time, a wall is not going to push against the child either, it is not going to fall on top of them or hurt them, it just stands firm. Just as our children yearn for stability, we desire the same as adults.
“In all things that you can buy you will get what you paid for… In children, you will get back what values you put into them”.
Children, unfortunately do not come with “time-outs,” however, their needs must be met. In those times I have always managed to pick myself back up and continue to be the capable human being my children deserve and what they have helped make me today. Don’t worry that children never listen to you; WORRY that they are always WATCHING YOU ! And as your children get older If you have never been hated by your child at some point you have never been a parent. I wont lie I have made mistakes we all make mistakes. It is part of the learning process. Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new to better their life. Are you the kind of person who can learn from those mistakes?
Really think about the kinds of values you would want to install in your children. The brain of a child is like a little sponge, it will soak everything up, hold it for as long as it can and then it will wring itself back out. If you want what comes back out of their sponge to be clean for them, then guess what? You need to be completely accountable for your actions. If you are not ready for near total accountability, you are not ready to have children. I am a capable human beingbut there have certainly been times where I have literally curled up into a corner and had myself good, heart-wrenching sobs. In those moments I felt there was no possible way I could continue to go on doing what needed to be done but if you love and care for your children in a natural way you should do you will always end up were you are needed to end up.
Happiness and comfort’ is a choice Life is a choice. It is YOUR life and you are the start of your child’s/children’s life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness for you and them.
THINK!╰დ╮❤╭დ╯SEE! KNOW! ~J.W~
- Spread love not fear be the best you can be! (joannewellington.wordpress.com)
Have you ever prayed for something and wished for it and worked hard to get it but it just doesn’t come? We have all been in this place where we want something so badly we can almost taste it and it’s not here. We wonder ‘why?’ and often think, “Why me?” or “Why NOT me?” It is frustrating and emotional. We can feel angry and disappointed. There are expectations that if we envision what we want and do the work, then we should be able to have it right? That is, after all, what the law of attraction teaches us.
When you really want something and you are going after it with much attention, action and drive, it is challenging when the result doesn’t happen fast enough for you or when it doesn’t happen at all. You start to question everything including your resolve and the actions you are taking, if you are going in the right direction. It is not an easy place to be!
It has been said that prayers are answered in one of three ways and I quite agree:
1. Yes! You can have it!
2. No, it’s not time yet.
3. No, there is something better in store for you.
The first answer, “Yes” is usually quite easy to manage. It’s what you want and you are ready for it so you celebrate your success and are quite grateful. (You DO celebrate and count acknowledge your gratitude, don’t you?)
But what happens when the answer is “No”? Either we have to wait, which is something we humans generally don’t like to do or we are not getting it at all and we have to look for something else. Either way, we are frustrated!
When Time is the Problem
Most people have a hard time with ‘patience’. We don’t understand why we can’t just have what we want when we want it especially since we think we are ready for it.
This is a challenge because of our relationship with time. I admit I am not immune here. I don’t like to wait for things, although I have improved over the years. As we get older, our relationship with time changes; we understand it better – that doesn’t mean we like it; we just learn that the universe has its own timetable and things don’t always happen when we want them to.
I don’t know about you, but I still want what I want when I want it! I have learned, however, to recognize this feeling of pushing my will on the universe and accept ‘All good things in good time’. If it is meant for me to have it or enjoy it, I will; just not right now. There is nothing I need to do, nothing I need to change. I simply need to be with ‘what is’ and not worry or concern myself with things I do not yet have.
If this is, in fact, the answer to your goals, dreams and prayers, but it is not yet the right time, then the work to be done here is to focus on getting ready. There is something that you still need to learn, do, develop or plan in order to be prepared for what is coming. The universe is preparing; so should you.
When There is Something Else in Store
This response is the hardest to handle. It requires trust that the universe knows better than you what is best for you. It is forcing you to have faith that something better is coming and you might not have a clue as to what that is.
Trust. Have faith. Continue to do the work to prepare yourself for what you believe you want. And focus on what you do have control over – YOU. Focus your energies on being your best and on developing yourself. Enjoy the here and now and make the most of it as opposed to being so focused on the future and what might be coming.
“Waiting” is never easy. I never liked the word “patience” which is another word for “waiting”. Patience implies that you are not happy with the present but rather focused on and wishing for some ideal future.
When does later ever come? If you cannot be happy with what you have, how will you ever know happiness?
I struggle here as well. It is not easy to want something and work toward it while staying focused on what you have but that is exactly what you need to do – always. If not, then you lose the present moment and all its glory to our passion over a projected future that is a fantasy. You lose the present to an illusion of what might be ‘someday’. ‘Someday’ may never come.
Happiness, contentment and joy can only be experienced in the here and now; it cannot be projected into the future.
When the answer to your prayers is ‘yes’, enjoy it. Revel in it. Be grateful and appreciative of it. This means that your vision for yourself was in complete alignment with what was meant for you.
When you do not get what you want, enjoy what you have while at the same time continuing to work toward what you want you. Trust that you will enjoy all you desire – when it is time.
About the author
Julie Donley has worked in psychiatric nursing since 1993 and founded her company, Nurturing Your Success, in 2001 to assist people in achieving their goals and working through change. She is the author of several books including Does Change have to be so H.A.R.D.? and The Journey Called YOU: A Roadmap to Self-Discovery and Acceptance. Learn more at http://www.NurturingYourSuccess.com. Contact Julie at Julie@NurturingYourSuccess.com to have her speak at your next meeting or conference.