Monthly Archives: September 2011
10. He tells you what to wear – This subtle sign is often overlooked or disregarded as just a way to please him by wearing what he likes. What many women fail to realize is that there’s a very fine line between wearing what he likes once in awhile and totally transforming your look to please him.
9. He doesn’t let you talk to or hang out with your friends anymore – If your man is trying to restrict who you hang out with or even talk to, this should send you a red flag. You shouldn’t have to stop hanging out with your friends just because you have a boyfriend.
8. He makes you feel like you’re walking on eggshells – I think this is one of the biggest red flags you can get in a relationship. Every relationship has its ups and downs, but no matter how bad things get, you should never feel like you’re walking on eggshells.
7. You’re afraid to talk about certain things for fear of his reaction – This really goes along with number 8. You should feel like you can talk to your significant other about anything without fear of how he will react. The person you choose to spend your life with should never make you afraid to talk to them, no matter what the subject of the conversation is.
6. He pressures you into sex – I know the saying is cliche but it’s a tried and true one – if he really LOVES you, he will be willing to WAIT when you’re ready. I can’t emphasize on this point enough!
5. He accuses you of doing things for no reason – like if he accuses you of cheating, for example, when you never have. No person should have to put up with this.
4. He calls you fat, worthless, a slut, etc. and just generally puts you down – If your boyfriend calls you names, it’s definitely a warning sign. He is trying to break down your confidence and make you feel unworthy in life, so you’ll feel like he’s the only one that will ever want you. Don’t believe it.
3. He makes you give up your religion – If your boyfriend makes you give up your religion to be with him, this is a sign he doesn’t value who you are as a person. Afterall, your values are grounded in your religion, and if you give that up, you might as well give up all the values that go along with it. He should encourage you to study your religion if he truly loves you.
2. He pressures you to do drugs, drink, etc. – This one goes along with number 3 – Once he gets you to give up your values, it’s all downhill from there. And if he’s addicted to drugs or drinking, he wil more than likely try to suck you into his addictions – misery loves company, afterall
1. He hits you – This is the number one sign that something is definetly wrong. I don’t care what you said or did, if anything, but you don’t deserve to get hit. If he is hitting you, it’s time to dump him. Again, you (or anyone for that matter) DO NOT DESERVE TO BE PHYSICALLY ABUSED. Your significant other should make you feel safe and even protect you.
Well, that’s all.
- 6 Signs Of An Abusive Relationship (mediumsworld.wordpress.com)
I was walking around in a supermarket when i saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back, the boy couldn’t have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, ‘I’m sorry, but you don’t have enough money to buy this doll.” The little boy turned to the old woman next to him, ”Granny, are you sure I don’t have enough money?” She replied, ”You know that you don’t have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.” Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. ‘It’s the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.’ I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. ‘No, Santa Claus can’t bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.’ His eyes were so sad while saying this, ‘My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.” My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said, ‘I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.’ Then he showed me a very nice photo of himself. He was laughing. He then told me ‘I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won’t forget me.’ ‘I love my mommy and I wish she didn’t have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.’ Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. ‘Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll!” OK’ he said, ‘I hope I do have enough.’ I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said, ‘Thank you God for giving me enough money!’ Then he looked at me and added, ‘I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!” ‘I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn’t dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.” ‘My mommy loves white roses.’ A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state of mind from when I started.
I couldn’t get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn’t stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine, and in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
Now you have 2 choices:
(1) forward this page to your friends.
(2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart xx
Love and freedom are two of those words that are interchangeable. Freedom of choice is unconditional love- unconditional freedom. Choice is another of those words that are interchangeable with Love and freedom.
For the most part, humanity understands little of what the word unconditional means. Unconditional means… “NO CONDITIONS.” This lack of understanding is what has divided man from man, and religion from religion throughout his sojourn in the physical reality. It is again man’s ego trying to grasp the idea, and not being able to surrender to its meaning. It appears to be the nature of humanity to always add conditions to unconditional-let me demonstrate.
I’ve been reading many articles lately about men and women whose spouses/partners have left them unexpectedly leaving them both surprised and devastated.
Most of them had no inkling that the relationship was anything but good. They saw no signs of trouble, unusual behavior, or what was to come crashing down on them.
How does this happen?
Unfortunately it does happen, and it happens to couples that allow themselves to fall into an unconscious routine.
They begin to take each other for granted, lose connection with each other’s thoughts and feelings and generally forget to do the small, considerate things they used to do in the past. It happens more often than anyone would care to admit.
Before the situation deteriorates to the point of no return, there are some things you can do to make sure you and your partner are in sync and working together.
Tips For Maintaining A Good Relationship: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
1- Respect each other. Try to understand each other’s feelings and points of view. Don’t try to change one another now that you’re in the relationships. You were initially attracted to each other for a reason. Remember what it was and continue to appreciate it.
2- Communicate. Never underestimate the importance of good communication. If something is going on inside of you, share it. Don’t keep your feelings, good or bad, to yourself. If you have a problem let your partner in on it. Work on a solution together. It will create intimacy and bring you closer together. When something good happens to you at work or you’ve achieved a goal, share that as well. All sharing and exchanging of information brings people closer to each other. Practice communicating with each other.
3- Do the little things. Be considerate and thoughtful. If you’re getting yourself a coffee, apple or snack from the kitchen ask your partner if he/she wants one too. When your spouse is tired and sore give him/her a back rub or massage. Be aware of each others needs.
4- Don’t get caught up in the rat race. People get too wrapped up in getting ahead and the mechanics of everyday living. They rush around doing, getting, and not taking time to live in the moment. By not paying attention to each other you can become disconnected with yourself and your partner.
5- Maintain a Sense of Humor. Laugh together. Don’t take things too seriously. Barring a tragedy, nothing is so serious that you can’t step back and look at the humorous side. Laughter is contagious and creates intimacy.
6- Take care of and respect yourself. As mentioned in Love Yourself in order function fully, strive for balance. If you don’t take care of yourself, everything around you will fall apart including your relationship.
7- Have a Life. Everyone needs a life of his/her own. If you don’t have one, you not only tend to invade someone else’s space, you probably become too dependent and therefore less interesting. One of the most important things you can bring to a relationship is your unique set of qualities and a different perspective. Contrary to what you may think, maintaining your individuality and having a life of your own strengthens a relationship and keeps it fresh and interesting.
So before things start sliding or become stagnant in your relationship, start developing some good maintenance habits. Communicate, laugh, be independent, take care of yourself and your relationship will not only survive, it will flourish.
Stress is a natural part of life. These days there are very few who don’t get stressed over money, the economy, the housing market, jobs or even family. Our bodies naturally react to stress through blood pressure, heart rate, respiration, body temperature and muscle contractions. Everyone deals with stress on different levels and in different ways. However, if one is not able to deal with stress it can ultimately lead to mental and physical exhaustion.
It wasn’t until the 1930′s that the word stress was used to characterize a condition where a stressor causes stimulus. Hans Selye, an endocrinologist, witnessed an inappropriate physiological response to demand placed on a human or animal. Before coining the term stress was considered a normal part of daily function and encounters that results in strain. Now, we know that stress plays an important part in physical, emotional and mental well being.
Stress is defined as a failure to respond appropriately to emotional or physical threats whether they are real or imagined. The signs of stress are easily recognizable and can present themselves as cognitive, behavioral, emotional or physical symptoms. Therefore when presented with stress one’s whole demeanor, attitude and presence can change. Cognitive, emotional and behavioral symptoms include poor judgment, negative outlook, anxiety, worrying, moodiness, irritability, agitation, inability to relax, loneliness, isolation, depression, lack of concentration and absentmindedness. Physical symptoms include increased heart rate, breathing, energy, blood pressure, cholesterol and production of sweat. Stress can also cause physical symptoms of aches and pain, diarrhea, constipation, nausea, vomiting, dizziness, chest pain, upset stomach and headache. Chronic stress that occurs over a longer period of time consistently can cause both physical and psychological damage to a person. Long-term stress depresses the immune system leaving it susceptible to infections, disease, and illness. Stress promotes the accumulation of visceral fat, which is a leading cause of obesity. Additional chronic stress has been connected to ulcers, cancer, heart disease, increased outbreaks of psoriasis, depression and diabetes. In children who experience chronic stress a stunt to developmental growth is normally seen.
Stress is normally given a bad connotation, which implies it is negative. However, most people forget or don’t mention good stress. When Hans Selye discovered stress, he studied all types of stress and realized that stress even when its good is still a stress nonetheless. He developed eustress or good stress and distress or bad stress. Eustress is a condition that enhances ones physical or mental function such as exercise, marriage, having a baby or a promotion. Where as, distress is persistent stress that is not resolved through coping or adaptation, which can lead to symptoms of withdrawal or anxiety. The difference between good and bad stress is based upon one’s past experiences, personal expectations, and the resources to cope with stress.
Coping with stress is not an easy task. Everyone adapts to stress differently and some people have an easier time dealing with stress than others. The way that the body reacts to a stressor is understood through the General Adaptation Syndrome (GAS), which describes the effects of stress on the body. Depending upon the intensity and duration of the stressor will determine if the stress is acute-short term or chronic-long term. At the first sign of stress the bodies stress response is in a state of alarm. The body reacts by producing adrenaline which causes a fight or flight response. Fight or flight is the body’s way of preparing to fight (cope, adapt) or flee. The second stage is the resistance to stress. If a stressor persists the body must find a means of coping with the stress. Does the body have a way to adapt to the strain or demands of the surrounding environment? As we cope with stress, the body’s resources (nutrients, enzymes, proteins, amino acids, vitamins, minerals) are gradually depleted. The final stage is exhaustion where the body’s resources are completely used up, leading to inability to function normally. Weakness, fatigue decreased energy, inability to concentrate or think clearly are all signs of exhaustion. Long-term exhaustion can be detrimental to ones health and can manifest disease. Although, these stages represent a model of how stress affects the body, stress can manifest itself differently in every person.
No two people will respond to the exact same stressor in the exact same way. Life experience and social background play a role in determining ones ability to cope with stress. Normal responses to stress include adaptation, coping, anxiety and depression. Coping mechanisms include stress management. Stress management provides individuals with techniques to handle stress on a daily basis. Learning to cope with stress will help you live a happier, healthier life.
Sarah Labdar - About the Author:
Graduated with a BA in exercise science and have worked in the medical field since. My focus is alternative medicine however all aspects of health interest me. Check out my health website!